Dumped and distraught

[giffyp]

So after almost 4 years and me pushing for the commitment he’d always promised he’s decided that though he loves me he can’t give me what I want and won’t even discuss it! I feel so down I want to curl up and die, I can’t imagine my life now without him, I’m so lonely, how can I feel better?

Move on and dont look back.

What have you asked for and has he given reason why he can't provide this?

I'm assuming you wanted commitment as in engagement/marriage. If he won't discuss it then he's clearly set on his decision with no room for discussion or compromise.

In that case I'd walk out now and not look back. Sorry you're going through this but you clearly want different things

Walk away and see what happens next. It will take bravery, but it might prompt second thoughts from him.
Even if it doesn't, it's probably what you need to do anyway

Well move in together would of been a start but that was a no

Move in together or think about it, but he’s saying not ready but he is too selfish to share his home

Wow what a charmer! Why do you want to be with someone like that?
Is he exceptionally nice otherwise?

I know it's hard right now but he's done you a massive favour by fucking off.

So sorry to hear this. It will hurt like hell but remember that you are worth more than a relationship that doesn’t give you what you need and want. You will get over it in time and you will move on. It’s then that you’ll find somebody who wants all the same things as you do and you will look back and be strangely grateful that this ended when it did.

Happened to me too. 6 years and his house was up for sale to move in together. He wouldn't sign the sale docs and pulled out at the last minute. Few weeks later dumped me 3 days before a booked and paid for holiday.

Three months on, instead of thinking I wasn't enough for him I realised he wasn't enough for me.

Still hurts though.

It sucks. ExDP and I had been together 4 years, talking about selling our houses and buying together when he casually mentioned he'd renewed his fixed term mortgage for 5 years.
I'm not a violent person but I wanted to beat him to death with his own slipper!
We split up😉. I cried a lot. Drunk texted him a lot (don't do that!). Eventually it got better.
He's had 3 girl friends since. The first one less than a week after we split up. I took a year out to 'heal'. New house, new job, new man of 6 months. I'm happier than I was then.
Allow yourself to be sad - better times are coming! X

Hopefully given time you can see he isn’t worth the upset. If he doesn’t want to commit to you, why would you want him? Be thankful you pushed for this answer now rather than wasting anymore time on him.

On a practical level - box sets, jigsaws, gym - whatever keeps you busy and your mind distracted will get you through this! Know your self-worth. You’re better than this twerp.

Hell….. that’s awful what a knob!!! I’m glad you are on the road to recovery xx

Yes that’s true, I need to see this, and accept it I keep reminding myself of his flaws and constantly surprised what I let go over my head xx

Yep…… I am feeling it big time….. at least I can’t drunk text him cos he has blocked me! But I to could go around there and beat him with the nearest weapon I could lay my hands on….. but I’m remembering all the times he was verbally abusive when drinking and convincing myself that was actually the real him. Xx