Randomly making comments about what I eat

[Isitfine]

been with my husband 10 years, I had a baby 5 months ago and he has never ever made comments abut what I choose to eat.
we are on holiday and all of a sudden he’s saying things like “you don’t need a starter”
“you don’t need that” or “that looks like a big portion for you”

it’s made extremely self conscious and I flat out said to him are you unhappy with the way I look? He said no but he just doesn’t want me to waste food as I eat with my eyes, fair enough I do sometimes.

I do have baby weight to lose and it might be me being paranoid but as he’s done it last three days and he never has I’m feeling shit.

is it a dig?

Tell him to stop.

“please don’t comment on my food like that.”

its definitely a dig, and bloody awful.

It’s a dig and he needs to stop. Tell him out right to stop and to not make any comments on your food intake or weight.

It took me two and half solid years (and a divorce) to lose my baby weight. 5 months is literally nothing and you should be just enjoying being a mum and nourishing your body with food you love and enjoy!

I probably eat more on holiday, I want to enjoy my food, particularly if it’s not what I’d get at home. Tell him to stop, it’s really rude. I had a massive choux pastry this week in France, I wouldn’t eat similar at home and I wouldn’t expect my DH to make comments.

Nasty behaviour, I assume he looks like Adonis and only eats egg whites and grilled chicken?

Tell him in no uncertain terms that this needs to stop immediately. It is very rude to comment on or criticise someone else's food choices.

If he doesn't get the message right away then start doing the same to him. Guaranteed that he won't like it, and it might just shut him up.

Generally speaking I'm agreement with everyone else

But him trying to swerve you away from a starter, saying about you eating with your eyes/wasting food, the fact you have a new child and the general state of the world right now makes me wonder if it's actualy a money thing. Could the cost of the holiday and a new baby has suddenly hit home and he's panicing trying to work out how to reduce costs?

Maybe I'm clutching at straws though, it's just seems odd to me if this has come out of the blue and he's never made comments like this before. Has he done anything else that would point toward reducing costs - I assume when he said you don't need a starter he wasn't having one himself?

Do it to him. You don't need a beer, just have tap water. You won't manage a pudding etc. If it annoys him, he'll understand more quickly why it annoys you.

I was wondering about money aspect too. I feel annoyed when my kids over order and leave masses. I hate wasting food and wasting money! It may be that you having "eyes bigger than your belly" hasn't bothered your husband before but now you're down to one income he feels the need to be more careful. (I'm assuming you're still on ML.)

Do the same to him.

'Oh that's a lot of grease'

'Wow, you sure you need all that after having a burger and chips earlier??"

You don't need a beer, just have tap water.

*
🤣🤣

I can see both sides to this.

Have you got a lot of weight to lose after having the baby? If so, then I think your husband is gently telling you that it might be an idea to start looking at ways to help get it off. I see nothing wrong with that at all personally, unless he is not a bit health conscious himself (and then his comments would piss me off)

My husband put weight on and i told him he needed to get to the gym because it was becoming a problem for me. I'd tried hinting for yonks and he wasn't getting it, so one day I just blurted it out. I look after myself so felt justified in saying it, even though he was hurt at the time.

I can see why you would be annoyed though if you are still feeding baby and if he's not in the gym much himself.

It’s a dig. Next time say I love you but fuck off

No this is the thing he’s put weight on himself, eats a lot of unhealthy snacks and drinks a lot. So it’s not as if he’s a health freak. I’ve got a stone to lose and I am the heaviest I’ve ever been. Maybe it is money, I am still on maternity. He will never be honest anyway.

Well unless you started off big to begin with, a stone isn't much in the grand scheme of things. Given that the baby is only 5 months, I think he is being mean if he's coming to it from a "youve put on weight" angle. I can only think it's the money point then.

Honestly I’d tell him I’d just grown a full human being, what the fuck is his excuse? He’s being incredibly disrespectful and an absolute hypocrite.

He will never be honest anyway.

Why will he not be honest? If it's mainly money-related (which was my first thought - a lot of people have skipped holidays for a few years because of COVID and are finding them much more expensive than they remembered or planned) why not tell you so you can work together to choose some less expensive items and keep the overall costs down?

If it's your size/weight, that's trickier but he can tell you tactfully. His language seems like what you'd say to a child under 10. There are a lot of things people (including him) don't strictly speaking "need", but that doesn't mean they shouldn't ever have them, within reason.