What do you to to cheer up yourself?

[MingZi]

I have been feeling unhappy for a few years. Depression comes and goes as things in life get harder or better.
I have realised, I don't know how to look after my mental health, how to make myself feel better. What do you do or what do you say to yourself when you are feeling down? Thanks

I get outside for a walk. Some of the time it's a struggle but I have a dog so no choice. I 100% of the time end up feeling better. There is something about being in nature that is really uplifting to me.

Talking to a friend also helps. Not deep meaningful chats (tho they are good too) but just chatting to get out of your own head. Lifts my mood which often changes my perspective. Also gives me a feeling of connection.

Good music can often do this to me too. Music that I find energizing or happy.

Throw yourself into helping others. Volunteer or become a befriender etc. You'll be amazed how your thoughts become more wrapped up in helping others and you'll focus less on yourself. It works ! Good luck :)

@Girlintheframe Many thanks for the suggestion, I agree nature has healing power. I started growing veg a year ago and felt better when looking after the plants . But I cannot be there all the time, still feel bad and get very tearful when I am doing other stuff.

Hot bath and a book.

Long, brisk walks while playing music - what music depends on the mood.

I like looking at Art as I find that can lift my spirits.

I no longer do retail therapy after becoming a shopaholic and as a result accumulating too much stuff. The next step in my evolution will be to Marie Kondo my life but I'm not ready for that yet.

Drinking & eating with friends. I do enjoy a good dinner party.

We got a cat. And the little darling really cheers me up. They do say having a pet on your lap release's oxytocin,the feel good hormone x

I like walking my dog - it makes him so happy and I can't help but laugh at the silly stuff he does. He likes to through himself on the ground and waggle himself about, while grinning and snorting like he's having the best time ever!
I like really comfy pyjamas and a fleecy blanket for the sofa, I like doing a big chicken and veg stew in the slow cooker and then freezing portions. I know it's good for me, saves on my bills and I love comfort food.
I too have gone down the retail therapy route a few years ago. Never again!
I like going to the gym, but that took a while to become a 'safe place' as I have agoraphobia. I can stick my headphones in and zone out while I exercise, then have a swim, and then my favorite bit, warm bubbly pool mmmmm lovely...
When I'm in bed before I go to sleep I try to think of one 'win' for that day - might be something like walking the dog or doing laundry.
Be kind to yourself, you can only do what you can do. I totally get what you mean about the tearfulness.

Aargh throw not thorough!

I have considered adopting a pet, cat or dog. How much are the bills for them?
What's making me feel unhappy is the financial situation, I am saving everything I can to pay the mortgage, bills and debt.

Retail therapy wouldn't work at all, I get a huge sense of guilty when spending money on non-essentials, even spending £2 for an ice cream on a hot day after 6 hours of hard labour work made me feel bad.... I queued up in front of the ice cream van and walked away...

Any activity costs money would have discounted effect.

Meet a good friend for a walk and get a lovely treat coffee to enjoy while walking. I’ve got second hand walking boots I got years ago in a charity shop. All through the lockdowns it’s meant I kept going out comfortably getting my steps in and also meeting friends.

"What's making me feel unhappy is the financial situation, I am saving everything I can to pay the mortgage, bills and debt."

Do free stuff. Do you have any nice walks nearby? Can you meet friends for free/ cheap activities? Could you get a £20-30 leisure centre membership where you are and go regularly? It's a cost but if you enjoy something like this, it's relatively cheap compared to many other pick-me-ups.

When I'm low, getting out of bed/ stop thinking about things that stress me out/ focusing on my purpose is the struggle. But once I do get out and see people, I'm so glad I did, and feel better.

Regular small steps to meet your basic needs in terms of routine, eating well, getting your body moving and expressing your 'social animal' are so important - we all get told this all the time but until your down in the dumps and see the real effect of these small daily things, sometimes you don't realise.

Is there anything you can do to feel more in control of finances? E.g. have a tracking spreadsheet and tick off things you have paid, have a goal for 6 months from now and see the debt decrease, make a budget and stick to it? Sometimes doing this kind of admin can feel satisfactory - if you can see you're making progress, but also facing your situation, accepting it and knowing you've got a plan in place to improve it.

It's important to do things regularly so it's easier to manage your emotions and be more of an even keel.
Go for walks in nature and be really present. Look around, listen to all the sounds, smell the air, touch things.
Meet up with people. We're social animals and human contact is important.
Watch tv that educates, entertains or makes you feel good. Same with books if you enjoy reading.
Eat good food and feel nourished. You're worth looking after.
Reduce time on your phone. Social media isn't great for mental health and YouTube and TikTok just ruins your focus.

Love this @OnBoardTheHeartOfGold 👏

Exercise - endorphins. Makes a massive difference to my DH who keeps his anxiety under control by exercising 6 days a week. Walking is a great start if you aren't in fab shape, jogging if you can (couch to 5km app is free if you re new to it), swimming or cycling if you like them. Team sport isn't my thing but if you like it, it can give you friends and company as well as exercise.

What about fostering a dog or cat? The charity usually pays for food and vet bills. The Cinnamon Trust I believe does this for elderly people who temporarily can’t look after their pets or who need a dog walker.

Its a way of having a pet without the cost and long term commitment. It’s helping others (humans and pets), and you will get to meet some kind and lovely people.

Medication.
why struggle? Get to the gp and get some happy pills.

@Toomanysleepycats this is a great idea. I will look locally to see if there is any opportunity like that

@SummerInSun I spend 20-40hours working at the allotment every week, lots of hard labour work. It helps to put me to sleep in the evening and give me a peaceful mind when I am there, very rewarding during harvesting season.

This has become the only thing I want to do, but of course I cannot spend all my time at the allotment. I still have to do a full time job to earn living. The thought of I am always doing things I have to do, rather than things I want to do in the whole of my life, makes me feel depressed. I feel I have never lived for myself. I know my thoughts are very negative...

@Isittrueornot at the moment, I still want to try to find a solution rather than relying on happy pills. Pain is a warning sign that we cannot continue living like this, something needs to change, I don't know if happy pills will affect my decision making and lead to mistakes.