Can you get the 'spark back

[Selfesteem22]

So first time posting on here from a long time - different name and account.
Anyway been together over 20 years, teenage kids.
Get on OK, not much possibly too little arguments. coparent well
Had a v long dry spell without sex during lock down - mainly his stress related I think.

But I really am not feeling it at all - just don't fancy him and find him quite dull.
Insisted on relationship counselling and after a lot of resistance we have started it.
He is both trying to do some things but v resistant to talking about things

Btw there is no one else in the mix - although have had in past some crushes.
Just wonder if can get things back

I personally don't think so

I think you can get " the spark back" after a long relationship but you have to know what " the spark" means and if it's the same for both of you. My ex's spark was sex, end of. My spark was spend more time with me, spend more time talking, going for meals, dating, seeing me as more than Mother of his kids.

Sorry posted a bit soon.
His reaction to us losing the spark was to shag an old girlfriend. I think you have to have really frank and often uncomfortable discussions about what getting the spark back means for both parties

Yes you can!

Do you do anything together? Any hobbies? Do you have fun together? Share any common interests?

It needs hard work from both parties but I think it's achievable.

We do enjoy some of the same things - we went out on Saturday which was nice - but it' feels to me at the moment like going out with a friend but a bit less fun

Personally I don't think so (at least it didn't for us) We tried counselling and all the sensate focus stuff seemed so artificial. We started doing 'fun' things, but once our counsellor stopped working with us cos she had her own issues to deal with, everything went pear shaped. We're still together but more as housemates. Now I've got health issues which have put paid to any activity. I'm counting the days now...