Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why am I so attracted to THIS stranger?

27 replies

fireelement · 25/10/2022 00:38

hello. i work in a gym and there's a regular user who comes in daily. we're total strangers, we've never talked, had no eye contact and stuff; he does his stuff, i do mine but... i am extremely attracted to him. i've been trying to figure out why and how; the science of it, but i know that i do like tall men and he's tall, got a unique hairstyle (no one has his hairstyle in that gym) and quite built. i must say that there are other users there who are more handsome and built than he is but somehow, this guy's just got me going head over heels for him, it's exhausting... and i don't know why. Plus i think maybe my brain is tricking me into feeling that probably he's also attracted to me.

i can't explain how i feel or how it is but whenever he comes, sure i feel my own attraction towards him go crazy but despite the total no talking and no eye contact ever, i kind of feel something from him too; like there's a tension/thing between us. when he works out alone, i feel his "aura" more than when he works out with his friends. feels like he would "hide" a bit of what he's feeling around his friends. this one is rare but once in a while i would catch him taking super quick glances at me (i try to glance at him too) and by the time i look at him, he already looked away or is at the point of looking away. and sometimes his body (front side), when he sits or exercises, would face me (or he could just be facing in my direction but not me). he would walk in front of my counter quite a few times (there was a time i was outside the gym and my body faced the locker and he just walked right to where i was facing; yeah he was putting something in the locker). when he's with his friends, he seems jumpier especially when he's near me; he does these cute skips, hops, tiny runs? sometimes i feel he would try to lessen the gap between us by walking in front of my counter a lot, or exercising at the nearest spot beside my counter, and placing and taking equipment from there.

could it be he knows i'm attracted to him? i'm afraid i may have given off my signals without me realising or can he feel the attraction and is he trying to make me not like him? is it his pheromones making me so attracted to him, because i just don't look at the other guys (they're hot but why this one?) gosh this is killing me. haha i just want to know what he's doing, i mean it would be nice to know if he's also attracted to me too. but sad to say, i don't suppose i'm his type, we're like out of each other's league.

OP posts:
hugefanofcheese · 25/10/2022 00:48

Might've noticed you looking. Why not say hi if you work there?

I'm interested in how you could be out of each others' leagues though?! Do you just mean not in the same league or each better in a different way than the other?

somebodycutmygrass · 25/10/2022 00:52

Classic crush. You are attracted to him purely on an animalistic / sexual level and it doesn't feel comfortable or rational to our educated brains.
Been there and it nearly sent me mad.
Are you close to the menopause by any chance?.

JoanCandy · 25/10/2022 00:55

Ooh !! It sounds delicious OP ! I think he's noticed you ... put Eric Prydz on the gym PA and do some stretches in front of the mirrors in a leotard <wink>

CatWorm · 25/10/2022 01:37

I was attracted to a boy at college like this. It’s the only time I felt an initial really really strong attraction to anyone. He wasn’t handsome in any traditional sense, except tall and dark, but I was borderline obsessed with him. It was just his whole vibe.

Unfortunately, my existence barely registered and he ended up dating a beautiful classmate.

Fingers crossed you get lucky! It’s a funny old things when lightening strikes (or Cupid), super frustrating when it only strikes one of you.

whoknew123 · 25/10/2022 04:36

Are you 16?

mellongoose · 25/10/2022 08:27

Love this. Total crush.

I'm happily married but found myself going giddy over someone I met at work a few weeks ago. They were only there for two days (thankfully!). No intention of doing anything about it. Took me quite by surprise. Feelings left as quickly as they arrived with no explanation!!

Watchkeys · 25/10/2022 11:00

How old are you, OP? Your post could equally be 'I fancy this bloke down the gym', but it reads like something from Just 17.

You're not in a romance novel. If you fancy him, talk to him. If you're feeling you have to 'deduce' stuff, you're wasting your time. There's a real life for you out there to be lived.

Shitfather · 25/10/2022 11:04

Love this thread. I’m totally crushing over a gorgeous man at yoga. I’ve caught him glancing at me a few times. He now plonks his mat next to me. It’s really lovely practicing right next to him. We haven’t spoken a word yet! I will next time. I’m a single mother and dating just isn’t on the cards for me any time soon, but it’s lovely to have a crush! I’d forgotten what it feel like.

Opaljewel · 25/10/2022 11:20

Feeling strong emotions doesn't have to make you sound teenage or immature. It's like apparently adults aren't allowed intense feelings? I see that regularly trotted around on this board.

Anyway OP it sounds like a very strong animalistic attraction. Maybe work out near him and start by giving him a smile if you catch his eye in mirror or have to walk by him just say hi and smile and walk to your work out area. You could test out hos reaction to you that way. If you catch him outside of the gym like leaving or going again could do same thing. If he makes it clear he isn't interested just leave it.

Kanaloa · 25/10/2022 11:23

It’s easy to fall ‘head over heels’ for a cute guy you’ve never talked to. You don’t know about any of his bad points so you just project everything you like onto his pleasant exterior.

I wouldn’t approach him. He’s a customer, you’re an employee. It would make me really uncomfortable to be approached by an employee in the gym who is obsessing over me like this.

Kanaloa · 25/10/2022 11:25

Opaljewel · 25/10/2022 11:20

Feeling strong emotions doesn't have to make you sound teenage or immature. It's like apparently adults aren't allowed intense feelings? I see that regularly trotted around on this board.

Anyway OP it sounds like a very strong animalistic attraction. Maybe work out near him and start by giving him a smile if you catch his eye in mirror or have to walk by him just say hi and smile and walk to your work out area. You could test out hos reaction to you that way. If you catch him outside of the gym like leaving or going again could do same thing. If he makes it clear he isn't interested just leave it.

I think it’s the expression of the emotions that sounds immature. He does ‘cute skips and hops?’ You can ‘feel his aura’ better when he’s not with his friends?’ It just sounds a bit much.

VatofTea · 25/10/2022 11:26

You ve built up all this tension in your head. Why don't you just start chit chatting with everyone and anyone at the gym, then you ll get talking to him sooner or later and find out a bit about him. Might be in a relationship/unavailable. Might in fact be a bit weird, who know. I think you need to cut out the furtive glances and focus on more productive communication, with everyone, and dispel the unhelpful tension.

Whatwouldscullydo · 25/10/2022 11:26

Ha this is totally me at the moment. Not the gym but someone I kinda know who would freak if he knew. I mean its not gonna Happen for multiple good reasons I won't go Into beyond of course the fact that he clearly isn't interested.

I'm just looking at it in the " well at least I'm not past feeling that way" aspect. Which is good as id shut myself off from my feelings a long time ago amd it's nice to know I can still do it. But by god he needs to just do something that completely repulses me to end it in my head for me😂

Watchkeys · 25/10/2022 11:28

Feeling strong emotions doesn't have to make you sound teenage or immature

I'm sure we all have intense feelings and emotions. That's not the issue. Writing them on a forum like a Mills and Boon novel is the bit that shows immaturity; an inability to deal with intense feelings under ones own steam, and needing external validation and explanation for a basic human feeling we're all familiar with.

yerdaindicatesonbends · 25/10/2022 11:29

Boo to all the people saying you sound 16! Love a good old fashioned crush, but haven’t had one in a very long time. Sometimes there is just something about someone which you can’t put your finger on but they are ridiculously attractive.

My go to was to just enjoy it. You don’t have to do anything about it if you don’t want, but can just enjoy the feelings and thrill of it!

Watchkeys · 25/10/2022 11:32

yerdaindicatesonbends · 25/10/2022 11:29

Boo to all the people saying you sound 16! Love a good old fashioned crush, but haven’t had one in a very long time. Sometimes there is just something about someone which you can’t put your finger on but they are ridiculously attractive.

My go to was to just enjoy it. You don’t have to do anything about it if you don’t want, but can just enjoy the feelings and thrill of it!

Agreed. For my part, there's nothing up with having a crush. Just enjoy it.

LadyLothbrook · 25/10/2022 11:35

Love this thread OP. By the time I finished reading your op I caught the reflection of myself smiling on my phone screen 🤣

ladydimitrescu · 25/10/2022 11:39

You absolutely have to talk to him! I'm so invested, this is so cute 🥰

yerdaindicatesonbends · 25/10/2022 11:40

Watchkeys · 25/10/2022 11:32

Agreed. For my part, there's nothing up with having a crush. Just enjoy it.

And sometimes with just as much intensity at the drop of a hat you’re left going ‘WTF was I thinking!’ Haha

cupoftea33 · 25/10/2022 12:17

When are you next at the gym OP?
You have to ask him something...get some eye contact...!

Anon778833 · 25/10/2022 12:20

You probably have compatible chemistry with him which is a completely normal thing. That’s why he stands out to you so much.

DatingDinosaur · 25/10/2022 18:37

This is the feeling everyone dating is hoping for!!

Enjoy it.

Itsbritneybitch22 · 08/05/2023 23:14

How did this pan out 😅

crazycatladyof6 · 08/05/2023 23:28

Yes I’d like to know too

unicornglitter123 · 09/05/2023 01:36

@fireelement what happened!! 😊😆