Both preciously divorced.
Been together almost 4years.
We blended our families very successfully but he had a terrible breakdown last year (divorce/previous life related) which involved me and my daughter being asked to leave the rental home. This was hugely stressful for both my daughter and I.
He was suicidal and clearly very unwell. Despite my entire family’s pleas, I helped him, nursed him better (with both medical and therapy help for us both) and me and my daughter finally returned to the blended home.
He asked me to marry him last December.
We purchased the family home together a few months ago.
For 11 months it has been great.
This last month he has withdrawn. He’s rude, cruel and clearly back to his previous ways but he’s still on his meds though not in regular therapy.
Despite looking at wedding venues, and trying to push a holiday wedding (which I unwillingly went along with) he’s now NOT ready to set a date for another 18 months. Though he asked me almost a year ago.
His delivery was terrible. Which he agrees and (sort of) apologies for.
I’m reasonable. If he had valid reasons I would listen, but I was informed it wasn’t going to happen on a timescale previously communicated and told “my problems aren’t his problems”.
I’ve taken stock but have been hurt. I trusted him with my and (more/equally as important) daughter’s heart again. It’s really hurt. If he wanted to. He would. Right?
This week, I learned, he hadn’t yet changed his will though he said he would.
It’s currently 50/50 to both of his children despite saying his intention was 50% to me, and then 1/3 for each of our three combined children.
Suffice to say, if he dies (he’s not particularly in health), I will have no legal say over his children (believe me when I tell you I am the leading woman in his children’s lives and his ex wife is a drunk/substance abuser). I have given 100% of my savings to our home but his will cuts me out.
It’s just not what I think is the right wait to go. If I give him 100% of my heart and life, but he doesn’t include me in his will (I’m 10years younger) why am I giving him 100% of my wife/step-mother duties?
I am the heart of this house.