When to know when you’re expecting too much!

[stairyfairy2]

I’m talking to a guy from Bumble, and the first date when really well. It’s actually refreshing because he had really good conversation, was a lot of fun and we did have a kiss at the end.

It’s so refreshing texting and having actual entertaining conversation, and it’s not just all geared towards sexual comments or anything! It feels like he liked me for me.

But also I don’t know if I’m expecting a bit more flirt, but we have only been on one date. I definitely find him attractive, and I said this and that I enjoyed myself. He then said “I had a great time, made me laugh a lot. You’re very good looking, your body is great btw and I think you know where I stand on wanting to see you again!” He then offered another date and place.

So all seems so far so good, there is obviously banter and a bit of flirting but should I be expecting a bit more complimenting or comments though? I feel like I know where he stands but also I have only met him once and I wouldn’t want it to be overdone.

I keep a log of all the things I think don't match my needs or expectations as I move forward with anyone I'm chatting to. From the first phone call or meet.

It's not always binary (like when you meet them and can't stand them on sight) it's a data gathering exercise - it's hard to know enough about people until you've spent a good a amount of time with in a range of scenarios (and for me this involves seeing their home and assessing compatibility in the bedroom)...

No one but you can decide what are Must-haves or should-haves. Mine will be different to yours.
Sometimes you don't know if it's good or bad until it's happened a few times and it begins to annoy you or you realise it's the sign someone isn't a good match for you and your preferences/wants/needs.

I keep a log of all the things I think don't match my needs or expectations as I move forward with anyone I'm chatting to. From the first phone call or meet.

no words

other than perhaps

WTAF?!!

I hope PP tells the men this because that would be an immediate end to the conversation from me.

What an incredibly odd way of seeing a relationship.

"Darling now we're celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary I want to say that I knew from the beginning you were for for because you passed my spreadsheet test of behaviour. And you still do."

Maybe you should do some fishing for compliments if the guy isn't quick enough on his own. Keep everyone happy

I think we're all watching out, aren't we, in life, for people who tick us off too many times?

Im amazed at how outraged you find my idea and practice of keeping a note of aspects of the COMPLETE STRANGERS we end up chatting to, dating and sleeping with from OLD apps.
It's hard to know what to spot when people are on their best behaviour but actually when you look back )after they break your heart) the key signs or red flags were in plain sight but not obvious.

So for example if I have a phonecall with a guy I'm intending to meet and he makes me laugh, we have lots in common and agree to meet up but he doesn't ask me much or anything about me I'll make a note of it. Nothing sinister just a little note to me in my diary. I might speak to other men before I actually meet the first guy and it's hard to recall what happened with each interaction.
If the pattern perisists and I've actively noted it I can realise they aren't for me despite having characteristics and qualities I like.
It makes the whole process more efficient and ultimately less painful when you realise you should split from someone who is no good for you and neve was from the get go.

You can laugh and scorn but this site is for advice which I gave. And it's good advice. Don't do what I do if you don't want to.

And yes 20 Years after marrying my broken angry gaslighting XH I did wish I made notes about every horrific attack I'd have left when the kids were teeny instead of not seeing his horrendous behaviour as it was tempered with lots of great times and now have three messes up mentally ill teens having lived with him.

You're very good looking AND your body is great - suggests he does think she is good looking?!

He sounds perfectly normal. You are expecting too much.

If he showered you with compliments after one date they wouldn’t be genuine because he doesn’t know you.

Exactly! How complimentary were you about him?

I wouldn't worry about any of this yet; most relationships don't work out and you don't know whether you're compatible. When you get passed 40 nobody, it will be highly unlikely that you'll be getting the kind of compliments you're getting now, so enjoy them if you aren't offended by them

Spot the incel/bitter person 😂