LTB?

[FITasAFIddle42]

I have been married to my husband for 9 years, together 15 in total. We are soul mates, at least i thought we were. Sex hasn't been great, always me intiating, and a few times a month. I figured that's what happens when your married.
A few months ago, We had both been out together, came back and had drinks, I fell asleep in conservotory, woke up and went up to our room only to find DH pleasuring himself on a Web cam site( live, with another woman). I was beside myself. Screamed at him, he was so out of it , couldn't hide it. Next day we argued it out , I forgave him but became more suspicious of his behaviour since ( never been a jealous type before). Fast forward to last night, I was in bed early, he stayed up for drinks watching films. I woke up about 2

Continued..
2am, he was asleep next to me. I checked his phone and there were a ton of messages and calls with another woman, arranging to meet and have sex. He also said he wasnt happy ( the woman knows he is married). I was heart broken. I haven't confronted him yet as I don't know what to say or do. I think I might have to leave, even though I live him.
Anyone been in a similar and stayed together?

Hello OP, I understand that you are seeking advice from others, but the truth is, only you can make that decision, whether to go or stay after this. I know many, many women that would forgive this kind of behavior but I would not. To me this is not just cheating, but simply a disgusting behavior I would not accept from my husband. I am impressed you did not do anything the first time around, but like I said, I know that many women would do the same. Up to you though. Good luck.

He's told you he isn't happy, there are cam girls and he has a woman in real-life... sounds like he's already left the marriage. I'm sorry, OP. Time to sort the finances and tell him to leave. The disrespect would take a lot to forgive.

this is far from acceptable

Ltb and get sti tested.

I'm honestly not one for cheating = automatic LTB. No one's perfect, people make mistakes, life's not black and white.

But there are different types of cheating, or degrees, I suppose.

Making a one time drunken mistake, feeling utterly mortified and never doing it again is one thing. Being on cam sites and having a long term affair/regular sex partner is quite another.

Sorry OP, I really do think LTB and get an STI check asap. All the best x

I’m sorry this has happened to you. I don’t have experience of this so I cannot advise you.

Did you take screen shots? Presumably he promised not to do this anymore? Personally I don’t think I could get past this but as the other poster says this must be your decision.

Did you think about leaving him last time and did you look at your financial situation then?

I have seen other posts on MN where it’s only once the woman asks for separation, that her partner realises she’s serious about his behaviour, wether it’s about sex, fidelity, housework or childcare.

My situation is different. My wife wanted to leave, then wanted an open relationship. Then she closed it but insisted she had a 'free pass' and had knockout sex with some guy. We're trying to stay together but you can't get back the trust or the feeling you are enough for the other person. It's a real struggle, and things just can't go back to how they were.

Absolutely LTB. That isn't love, are you going to commit the remainder of your life to it? To trying to get over it, trying to forgive and forget? You only get one life, I wouldn't spend the rest of mine with someone who could betray me like that. Certain pain ahead with him, potential for happiness and healing without. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, I know your pain.

I couldn't get past this. Shows such disrespect for you and your marriage. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Take pictures of everything on his phone. Then confront him and leave him

@FITasAFIddle42, a year ago you discovered that your H was webcamming. Months ago you caught him having interactive sex with a cam woman, but you forgave him. Now you’ve rumbled his affair — messaging, calling, confiding about your marriage, and making arrangements to meet up for sex.

Your H does not want to be faithful. He’s thrown your forgiveness back in your face via his infidelity and disloyalty. @FITasAFIddle42, if you value monogamy, respect, and peace of mind, you need to end things and move on. I would also advise getting an STD test asap.

This is an ongoing pattern of behaviour from him, I also read your previous post.

He needs the validation and sexual thrills from other women and by your own admission is not interested in you.

You'd be foolish to try and stay.

OP you deserve better than this.

Agreed. You can never get the trust back. You can never feel secure again. I know