How did people meet before dating apps?

[Aliciaukuk]

Ok finally deleted Tinder and Bumble.. they are full of ugly, broken men..

the lowest of the low.

How can i meet a partner instead?

From my friends:

Friend of a friend (met in a night club when one group of friends bumped into another with one mutual between the two)
Hobby
Work
Friend of a friend, had known each other distantly for years but never previously single at the same time
Blind date arranged by mutual friends - they were the friends the 'set up' couple brought along to turn it into a double date and ease any awkwardness
Night club
Night club
Dating app
Childhood friends (parents are/were good friends)

One friend did OLD for years and was very strict with their criteria before they would even consider messaging a person/replying to a message. It turns out you can't plan for the random attraction that sometimes happens in person - they married a lovely person that is the very opposite of a number of the most important gateway criteria set for OLD, met in a bar.

One friend did OLD for years and was very strict with their criteria before they would even consider messaging a person/replying to a message.

I didn't do OLD very long but you do need to be strict with your criteria. No point in messaging someone who is outwith your age bracket, or doesn't have similar interests.

We met through OLD but came very close to working together a year earlier when I knocked back a job.

I know at least 4 couples who met 10+ years ago via OLD.

Bars, clubs, parties, work/education, friends of friends, hobbies/interests, loads more. They all have the overwhelming advantage that you will have actually seen each other and had at least a brief interaction before the first date.

All these things still exist so don't despair and good luck!

Lots of people ended up with neighbours.

So, do young people not go out to bars and clubs to meet people any more?

i met my first proper boyfriend in a takeaway...not after a night on the tiles it was mid morning and my sister wanted some chips, next thing i find out my mum had given him my mobile number 🙈🙈🙈 i was like 21 at the time aha, my most recent partner i met through his work, he is a supermarket delievery drive and when he used to drop my mums shopping off and i was there visiting he would flirt with me, then we added each other on fb and it went from there really

People do meet irl it’s only on mumsnet where people insist old is the only possible way! Most of my friends met their partners irl.

Same here! everyone I know meets people in real life and avoids online dating. It's bizzare that mumsnetters think so highly of it, IMO it's full of the dregs of society (the men I mean, can't speak for the women).

YES! 🤣 I did this so many times...when the lights went up and you realised that he really wasn't that cute after all 🤦‍♀️🤣

And during the days of "track n trace" leaving your number in various cafes and restaurants, I may also have been guilty of doing the same thing, "OH dear that 5 is meant to be a 6 🤪"

Work (DH), uni, friends of friends, hobbies, clubs/pubs.

My point was that if my friend had seen their now-spouse first on an OLD app rather than on a blind date in a crappy local bar, they would never have spoken let alone dated, married, and all that has followed since. DF wouldn't have wasted the thumb effort. They have very different interests and the spouse doesn't match the physical or financial type that was being filtered for (along with other specific traits such as level of ambition). My friend was incredibly rigid in the criteria, but life and attraction doesn't work like that and it turns out having a partner who is quite opposite in many ways has provided balance to both of them. By filtering so heavily you miss all the 'wild cards'. It is fine to have a few loose 'must haves/not haves', eg rough age brackets, but long lists of essential traits and achievements aren't great.

I guess you could be over tight esp if looking at financial status. I don't remember thinking too much about financial status as long as they were in work had trade / profession.

The things that I was fairly strict on was interests and age.

Husband - in a pub, through mutual friends

Ex - at a festival, though mutual friends

Previous ex - in a nightclub, introduced by his friend who'd helped me up when I fell over pissed in the toilets

Ex before that - was a friend of my neighbour

My parents grew up in the same village.
Dp's parents met at junior school and are still married, 55yrs later.
Work.
Parties.
Basically anywhere outside of the house.

I think people do still meet in real life but the reality is it’s much more difficult to meet in the pub/nightclub/through friends once you get older. I had exhausted friends of friends possibilities once I was about 25 and didn’t like going to clubs much either by that point l. I think what has changed is that lots of people
don’t meet their partner until they are in their late twenties or thirties now by which point the pool of people you know or meet IRL has narrowed. Most friends I have who met their partners IRL did so at university.

I'd agree people still do meet irl but it does get harder once you are past your mid 20s.

Once your pushing 30 you can't assume the group of guys in the pub are single, and on the pull, many will be guys with partners on a Boys Night out. Likewise they can't assume your on the pull either so people become less likely make the first move.

People also become more wary of workplace romances and the risk of having to face them daily should it go wrong. Or be accused of sleeping with the boss etc.

Which then leaves social / hobby / sports clubs, which again can be hard for the similar reasons to above.

The whole dating game gets harder and harder as you get older. Once people in their 30s & 40s their are often young children to consider too.

My friends In their 30s still meet people irl you can’t assume everyone online is single either since many of them aren’t either

Anywhere really, at work, clubs, bars, pubs.

In recent years (this year) have met someone for a few dates in a pub/bar - very much a pulling place though.

Met an ex through friends at a restaurant.

Years ago was introduced to my fiance via his cousin's wife, at an aerobics class we both did, he was on leave.

Any of my clubbing meets - I have to admit - I was a bit of a slapper and was only really interested in one night stands and even then, I didn't even do that, which left some men really confused...

I mean I didn't sleep with all the men I met in clubs - just liked the power I could pull. I mean heck yeah I had some one night stands!

I have noticed before - on a tube once, a fairly good looking man (think he might've been divorced and a bit tipsy) was lamenting the fact he couldn't meet anyone!

I've also had men sometimes approach me on the street to ask me out. usually goes nowhere