Does being a rebound ever work out

[Towelhowle]

I would like to know without going into details if the man you liked and were dating exclusively did this, how would you react. Just a note I know for a fact he did this.

About 2/3 weeks ago my boyfriend had a long conversation with his ex, he told her she broke his heart when they broke up, she left him when he needed her the most. He said she hasn’t given him space to work out what he wants. He then said you don’t love me and don’t want me to her. The thing is she said she wants him back surely if he wanted her he would have gotten back with her

When we got on the topic of exes he said they just could not work it out but he wishes her the best. I now am understanding I’m the rebound as we got together fairly quickly after they split up, my question is do rebound relationships ever work out

Well actually yes. I split up with someone after 3 years. I cared a lot but just didn't really fancy him any more. All fine. I think he felt the same. He got with someone else at warp speed. 10 years later, they've just got engaged. We're not in touch, I know through mutual friends but I'm pleased for them.

He said she hasn’t given him space to work out what he wants. He then said you don’t love me and don’t want me to her

How do you know all of this? Were you together when this conversation happened?

Sorry to say but if he was with you at the time then it doesn't make him sound fully engaged in your new relationship and is still puzzling out the last one ending. Not to say they'll necessarily want to get back together but it doesn't sound like he has squared it away yet mentally.

We were together at the time this was two weeks ago. I have seen screenshots of this conversation. I don’t really know how to proceed if I ask him he will deny it

The scenario you describe is very different though.

I wouldn't want to be a rebound. How shit to be in a relationship with someone who is still in love with someone else?

OP, you're worth more than that.

Yes, i was a rebound and I was rebounding with my husband when we met! Neither of us thought it would go anywhere (and I didn't really want it to as I wanted to be single for a while) but it did. That was over a decade ago...

Rebound relationships can work out, I met my DH when he was looking for a rebound shag on tinder and we’ve been married 5 years now (together 9) with 2 children. But he wasn’t still emotionally invested in his ex, which it sounds like your DP is. So yes it can work out, but not if they’re still hung up on their ex or looking for you to fill the void they left in their life. If I were in your situation, I’d walk away as it sounds like he still has feelings for her and your life & happiness are worth more than that.

If you don't trust his responses the relationship is a no-go anyway, isn't it?