relationship

[lm1029]

looking for some advice or if anyone has been in a similar situation.

Some time ago myself and my partner got into a heated argument which resulted in things being smashed and a whole mess made. My partner was charged with DV, after many months no conviction was made and SS had no concerns. Would SS become involved again if the relationship restarted? What about moving on with relationship and having a child? (thinking into future).

thanks

Why on earth would you want to resume a relationship with this man and have your children involved in this mess?

Let me guess…he’s changed 🙄

Why would you want to be involved with someone who smashes the place up, never mind being children into it

*bringing

Don't do it... it'll happen again.

Next time it might be you who gets smashed up. And with a child in the house. Social services would have something to say about that. Please please don’t bring a child into a violent household and end up tied to this man forever!

I was in a similar boat. Gave him another chance and he was on best behaviour (well, just being a bit nasty and swearing at me, no kicking or breaking things ) for several years.

Then one night when I needed him most, I was at breaking point with medical issues, work stress etc and was upset, he got angry with me and kicked over a coffee table and a fan. Made me realise that the whole time this aggression was just lurking close to the surface waiting for the time he felt secure enough to let it all out again.

We split again and then a few months later I begged him to get back with me.

I’m an idiot and had the luckiest escape of my life when he said no.

I know part of that decision for him was because he knew he’d do it again and he couldn’t risk anything happening to his kids if he got arrested for DV. It didn’t occur to him to stop doing it, just that I shouldn’t get upset by it or call the police to have him removed when he did.

I’ve just found out he has a new GF and I hope for her sake that he’s changed. But I can’t imagine that he has, he’ll just be hiding it again. Took him 2 years for it to all come out with me, so it’s early days for her still.

A previous ex who was violent towards me also waited 2 years to show me the real him. Seems that’s the limit for keeping a lid on the crazy.

Do yourself a massive favour - there’s plenty more dick in the sea. Keep looking.

Normal people don't smash things when 'angry' op. Sociopaths do.

Do you really want to get back with a sociopath?

Just don't do it op. You're worth more than that.
People like him aren't capable of changing.
They smash shit up in order to scare and intimidate you. It's basically like saying 'look how strong and angry and out of control I am. You should worry, because your face could be next'.
Sometimes the do it when they aren't even angry/drunk.They just want you to THINK they are angry/drunk so that you tell yourself they have a reason for behaving like that on this one off occasion. And so they can say they'll 'never drink again so it won't happen' or some other bs afterwords. It's all part of the manipulation.

Protect your home. Protect yourself.protect your kids. You shouldn't be asking if ss will step in to protect your children. You should be asking what YOU can do to protect them, from monsters like him.

Protect your home. Protect yourself.protect your kids. You shouldn't be asking if ss will step in to protect your children. You should be asking what YOU can do to protect them, from monsters like him.

absolutely this. It broke my heart to split up with my ex, but I knew I didn’t want my kids witnessing that behaviour and growing up to think it was acceptable. I’m ashamed now that I ever allowed him back into our lives to do it for a second time, but I know there’s always that glimmer of hope that they have changed and learned from losing you. They don’t. All they learn is that they’re so irresistible that you’ll put up with any old shit to be with them.

Why do you want to (re)start a relationship with a man who's already been hauled up for DV?

What has gone wrong in your life that instead of thanking the goddess for your lucky escape from him, you are thinking of letting him back in?