Can anybody explain what's going wrong?
I am a single mum with a 7 year old and have never been in a relationship since my son was 2
The father of my child, however was very affectionate, made me feel so loved but he was physically abusive towards me. So I left that relationship.
And since then, all I have ever met is men who only just wanna sleep with me.
I've never been offered to go for a drink, a date, even for a walk. The talk always seems to lead to inviting themselves to my house. And I find myself rejecting each time because I know what I deserve.
I have been described as looking young as 19, 20 but im actually almost 30. I've lived on my own for quite some time, I work full time and normally a stay at home gal. If I do go out, I'll meet someone and he'll text me a for a few days but he never asks me out on a date.
Now, I have to include this situation because this has messed with my mind alot, its been the first time since any guy did anything for me let alone for my son so i fell HARD and now I don't know what to do.
A friend introduced me to a guy and he asked me out on a date back in 2018, I went to the movies, it was fun, I enjoyed the film but he came across as vain, naive, quite shallow and selfish, he dropped me home and he left. We texted couple days after and he made it clear that he only wanted me as a friend with benefits.
I said no thanks and after that we strictly became platonic friends. Over the years, we only spoke every now and again, he wasn't in my life on a daily.
Out of nowhere, In 2021, he started to suggest that my son and his son could hang out and be friends as they were the same age which was nice because he never did that before.
And they became VERY good friends after that.
so since the boys were getting along he started making a move on me, I asked what are we doing? Are we a couple, are we dating? He claims again we are friends. I said I'm not interested in that, I'm trying to show my son how a man treats a woman and your not doing that so no thanks.
He continued to be supportive, kind, loving, taking him out, buying him stuff for my son and his son too which I have never had before, and it was amazing. My boy was happy. He felt that he could be a great man for me.
But he wasn't making me happy, he wouldn't take me out, he wouldn't buy me a drink, sometimes he wouldn't even call me but he was happy to get the boys together and go out.
Emotionally, Im lonely and hes doing all these nice things for my son so I gave in after a while and at that time, he started to open up to me about what was going on since I went on a date with him. Apparently he had got a woman pregnant and had two kids with her and I said to him, you claim you don't want a relationship with me but you ended up settling down with another woman and now that relationship has failed you have come back. But you have come back only to play mind games because you still don't want to be with me. He introduced me to his mom, his sister, his brother, he met my sis, my brother, all my cousins and still claimed we are not in a relationship.
Omg, I felt so stupid but I realised that nothing going to was going to change so I broke it off.
Am I mean to stop the boys from hanging out?
I feel like he used the friendship with the boys to get to me because what he was doing before wouldn't work. But I deserve to be treated like a queen, and my son deserves to see that too right?
Now, I am struggling to see what's genuine or not.. how do I know if a man is really here for me, just because he treats your kids nice, don't mean he wants you. He introduced you to his family, he still don't want you. How do I know if a man really wants to be with me? Because that hiccup from last year has messed with my head so badly, I don't trust anybody.