To not have sex In months - cheating?

[Pinkflowers99]

My DH and I haven’t had sex since August. I’ve tried to initiate but to no avail. I’m feeling a bit lost as I miss the intimacy but he seems to be coping fine. Should I worry He’s getting it elsewhere?

I'd be worried about what's caused this change in him. Is he ok or under a lot stress? It's more likely something other than cheating but as Mumsnet shows, you can never be too sure.

What does he say when you tell him you feel rejected and upset when he keeps knocking you back?

He's not on a course of antibiotics or other medication to try and clear up an STD?

Has he had a medication change, new job, is he worried or upset about something (bereavement, health etc).

Is he being secretive, has any other behaviour changed?

Ffs 🤣🤣

Nope… none of those. He is going back to the office more. I have tried to talk to him about it (albeit a couple of wines in) but he just denies anything

How can he deny it? Surely he doesn't say "we had sex last night" when you know full well it was August.

Sorry I mean he denies anything happening with anyone else… or there being an issue at work etc

Or just an issue in general as to why we don’t have sex 😩

Ah OK. Well when you say you feel rejected and down because you've not had sex in ages, what does he say then?

Check his phone

He doesn’t really say anything if I’m honest.. I think I’ve always had a higher sex drive but I’ve lost confidence since I had our DH.

Sorry meant DD

i guess I ask him to touch me (which he does) and then we go to sleep…

Personally I would have it out with him. Id just say "Listen, I want to have sex with you on a regular basis and you need to make an effort with me. I feel rejected when you turn me down." If I said that sort of thing to my husband I guarantee you he would have sex with me that same evening, because he would know it was important to me.

Obviously, if he said he was ill or stressed or depressed or whatever, it'd be different. I wouldn't be impressed if my husband hadn't had sex with me for 2 months either.

Thank you… I think that’s what I need to hear. I want sex, I enjoy sex..I’m married but if they can’t provide why am I still here?

Oh no, he says he is too tired

I'm unclear - have you actually said ‘we haven’t had sex in two months, I’m frustrated, what’s going on?’ Or no?

Seems like a red flag to me. I am sorry you are experiencing this. It is not a nice feeling to be rejected and not have intimacy.
i would definitely tell him how it’s making you feel and ask if there is anything you can do to help things. Seems unusual two months … hope you get the truth.

Yes that’s not right, the longer it goes on the harder it will be to get the spark back.

Wtf! That went left quickly 😮😂

Usually people who start having affairs don't suddenly stop sleeping with their partner - the excitement from the extramarital increases their drive at home as well. The exception is if things were already broken at home, which doesn't sound like the case here. How frequent was the sex before it ceased?

Hi. In my former relationship we didn't,t have sex for two months and I found it very difficult. My partner was very overweight and this,and later a diagnosis of diabetes safe red his sex drive. Are any of these likely for your husband? Also is it likely that he is nervous about workin back in the office re new routine/ Covid? Try to keep talking.