just needed to put it down

[wobblymum1]

I’m in my car having a little cry.
what do you do when it all feels too much?
my anxiety is horrible, I’m on a waiting list for counselling but it’s Weeks away still. Gp doesn’t want to prescribe meds as thinks counselling is needed first.
I am pretty much a single mum to my 2 kids who never seem very happy and eldest has some additional needs. I just took them away for 2 nights to a hotel and felt
so lonely surrounded by happy families with a mum and a dad and what looked like happy kids. i am lonely, don’t really have any friends and my marriage
is coming a slow and sore end. I’m working hard to pay off my debt (self made and my own fault and I’m on a repayment plan) and can see some light at the end of that tunnel but it’s slow going especially now I’ve had to more than half the debt repayments due to rising bills.
i guess this is a moan. I just feel alone, lonely and like it’s all too hard. i tried calling the Samaritans but had to almost laugh in a sad way when their text service said they were too busy and someone would get back to me and that was 8 hours ago. What do you do when life just feels too hard? thanks.

I think allow yourself to feel low, rather than tramp the feelings down, but then maybe try and counter it with the positives:

You have two children and they are lucky to have you
You are going to get out of a relationship that is damaging you
You have taken control of your debt situation and it is getting better - that is huge, be proud of yourself

Thank you for your kind words, that’s so supportive. I’m really really trying with the debt. It’s been going on so long I think I forget the fact I’m slowly (slowly) getting there at least with that.

You're doing brilliantly OP. It takes such maturity to face down the debt, and that WILL be over and done one day. I bet your kids are great people and I bet you are a solid and reassuring mum. You don't know what trappedness or irritations and annoyances there were between those seemingly happy couples.

You could ring your doctor. I did this when struggling with my mental health and she was so helpful and sympathetic. In my case she recommended counselling and time off work, it could be different for you.

Hang in there OP

Thank you so much, that’s so kind. I think I’m still so disappointed in myself for getting into debt I can’t be proud of myself for getting started paying it back so this is really nice to hear. I might try calling my Gp again too. X

Yes Op, clearing out the debt, it is only telling you have strength and resilience. You will get it all sorted, but give yourself time, it is a process, write it all down what you need to do to achieve peace -each little thing!-and then step by step solve them, you will see the progress and you will appreciate where you came from. Wish you the best 💐

Please be kind to yourself. I'm sure there's many of us who remember what it was like and how horrible it was before divorce.
Your GP is actually really sensible. Far too many GP's put people on anti depressants without actually sorting out the issue, so he/she has your back.
Even in a 2.4 average home not everyone is happy. Please stop comparing yourself.
What do I do with myself?...I tidy a drawer, bake a cake, wash my bedding, because small things are good things, they're still a win at life and they make you feel like you've achieved something. You focus on the small wins rather than the long term goals.
But also be thankful, that you still have a great sense of humour and are able to change a negative into a positive, You're already winning at life as many people can't even do that!

Samaritans are there if you want someone to listen. We can’t help you, we can just listen, but sometimes that helps.

Thank you all for being so kind, I can’t tell you how much it means to me sitting here reading these and feeling less alone.

Your situation sounds really tough, no wonder you’re struggling to feel happy.

Can you access the online CBT Silver Cloud while you wait for counselling? I was given access to it by my local NHS trust and I found it really helpful.

I hope you feel better soon?

Thank you, I can’t actually remember what it feels like to feel happy it’s been so long. I’ve not heard of silver cloud I’ll definitely have a look at that thank you

Try to see a different GP. Medication can be such a useful crutch to get you through times like these, especially with two little ones to care for.

I do find it relentless with the kids all the time, I’m snappier with them than I used to be which I hate. I will try speaking to a different GP, thank you so much.

How's it going today Wobblymum?

Sending you lots of positive vibes being a single mum and struggling financially is tough I know myself. Make sure you are staying connected with friends and family and search your local area for children centres or I think they are now renamed hub, go along meet other families talk to staff they are well informed in how to give you the right information and advise on debt and senco services available to you in your local area. I promise you this will help it may be uncomfortable to start but it is worth considering the great thing Is you made this post So you clearly want to change the direction you are in. Good luck 💐 and please believe things will get better

Thank you all so much for checking in on me. i feel a lot of support from you which is a really warm feeling. I feel quite low still but I’m hoping to reach out to some local services and remember thanks to you all I’m doing my best. definitely trudging through the motions when I want to hide under the covers but I know I have to keep going for my children. Thank you all

It won't always be this way Wobblymum. Well done for tackling that debt, you will do it!

Can I suggest you go over to moneysavingexpert.com to the forum, to the section called "Reduce Debt and Boost Income".

There's a section there called Debt- Free Wannabe, where people who are working towards paying off their debt share their progress and celebrate each others successes. I'm sure you'd find a lot of help and support on there. You'll also find plenty of ways to boost your income, make your money go further and a wealth of useful tips throughout the MSE site. If you want you can post a statement of your spending and knowledgeable folk on there will suggest ways you can save money. There is so much useful and kind support given on that site. You might even find some virtual friends on there. 😊 I hope you find it helpful, so many people do.

Good luck!

Thank you so much I’ll check that out for sure, any friends would be so welcome too so sounds good

Ok your in debit and a lot of people are in the same situation. At least you realised that you need to sort this out and are trying to pay this off.
Maybe theirs a way than rather than working harder with the debit you could do things in a smarter way. Look at the Martin Lewis website as you could find out extra things will help you out more money wise.
Are you on the right tax band as you maybe due money back from the tax office? Could you get a better deal on your bills? Could you get any extra money from claiming a benefit your were not aware off?

You have 2 kids and you recently bought them away. You said that your marriage is not going well at the moment. If that is the case I would gather together all you and your husband's financial details and get some legal advice about what would happen if you got a divorce.
You may see couples and their children and think they have great lives but their big house has a large mortgage and the new car is a few hundred pounds a month.

I would also chat to citizens information about getting some help with your debit and to see if your entitled to any extra benefits. Citizen information can put you in contact with a free debit service who can advise you further on getting out of debit.

When your going through a hard time you can get overwhelmed and feel that it never going to end. It can effect you both mentally and physically. I know your trying to sort out your situation. I think if you got some advice re your current situation it could help you get things sorted out.

Just remember that your doing your best in difficult circumstances. I hope things get better for you soon.

You need to go back to the GP and tell him you are struggling and things seem overwhelming, and you are afraid of what you can do sometimes.

You need to make it sound serious, rather than telling him you are Ok and managing.

Yes - counselling is something that can help a lot, especially in the long term. But it’s a while away, and it will then take a while for it to get anywhere.
And in the meanwhile - antidepressants can help stabilise you and manage/reduce your anxiety.
Good luck!