What to do? DP's beard hurts me every time we kiss

[greyinggranny]

I really like kissing DP. He likes kissing me. His beard or rather, bristles, grow outwards. They spike me every time we kiss. I mean, really hurt - to the point that I now shy away. He doesn't want to shave them off. His right I guess. He's not into 'products' to soften them.

Part of me can see his reasoning. Another part of me thinks that he's neglecting to consider that every time he leans in for a kiss, he's bloody hurting me! Who would even do that?

If you have a bearded partner, how did you get around this?

LTB (lose the beard)

I wrote the same post oh about 3 months ago. My DH is the same loves the stubble look think it hides his fat face (he does not have a fat face at all), it hurts me a lot (I also have fibromyalgia which means I’m very sensitive to touch so it’s extra spiky for me. I got a lot of his body his choice comments etc. We had a long talk and he decided that every 2 weeks he would shave it off S a compromise, well that hasn’t worked either as I’m not happy with him dictating when we can kiss/ have sex etc once a fortnight when he chooses. So now he have no sex life whatsoever, he has chosen his stubble over sex which is so sad.

I now shy away. He doesn't want to shave them off. His right I guess. He's not into 'products' to soften them. Then tell him no kissing... and mean it.

Why would you put up with that stubble rash pain,? it's bloody awful!

Hew can have his beard. But unless he changes ow he has it he can't kiss you!

And eventually you relationship will suffer from lack of casual intimacy. Because he refuses to understand that his choices causes you pain... or he just doesn't care!

And yes, my DH has a beard like that. He works away and comes home with a rash inducing face full of hair. The difference is he is aware and deals with it. He shaves it off unless he is going back out somewhere a beard would be an advantage (he works in some really cold places) at which point we have a discussion and we both know what is happening / not happening to the beard!

My H liked to rub his bristles on my face knowing that it was painful for me. He is now ex and still a cunt.

Phwoar...😝

Shave it off when he is asleep.

Is it a full beard or is he just growing it? If it's at the growth/stubble stage it should feel better once it grows in a bit more.

My dh has a beard, but it is soft because it's a bit longer than chin length and he uses beard oil. He actually takes better care of his beard than anything else, shampoos, conditions, combs it and uses beard oil 😂 I hate the feeling of stubble on a man's face, especially when it just starts to grow in after a clean shave so I prefer the beard. I have sensitive skin and stubble really irritated it.

If he's growing a beard then it should improve in time but he should still be willing to use products to keep the hair softer, even now while it's at the stubble stage. It's a bit shitty that he's not willing to compromise by either shaving or using products. Just don't kiss him til he does!

He doesn't want to grow a beard. He does look better with stubble but it hurts too much. Think I'm going to have another talk with him.

The only option you have is to ask him not to kiss you. You can't make him shave it off but you do have a choice of going near it or not.

Unfortunately sounds like he'd rather look good than feel good. Which is a shame.

Well it’s up to him. He can chose whether he is keeping his stubble or not.

But you can chose to have him near you and refuse kissing.

Tbh if he cares more about his looks than your comfort/you not being hurt, you gave a bigger issue.
But you do need to STOP kissing him. He isn’t going to believe you otherwise.

Beard balm or beard oil to soften it up. It makes a big difference.

I hate beards and moustaches! Hate the look, hate the feel. Luckily my partner can’t really grow one!!

Then he needs to compromise and either keep himself clean shaven (the aesthetic benefits of stubble don't matter) or he should be willing to try using some type of product to soften it.

If he won't do either of these things then don't kiss him, it's his choice.

Deep condition it fortnightly, conditioner in it (while he showers) every couple of days, beard balm/oil. He’ll need to make some effort re upkeep. Is he willing to do that?

It’s not a beard so beard oil won’t help. It’s stubble which is by it’s nature sharp and scratchy. My ex’s was about as thick as the base of a cats whisker, so really thick and coarse. Not just like an emery board sort of rough, but honestly more like a thistle!

To be fair, my ex wasn’t necessarily bothered about how he looked, he was just too lazy to shave every day. He shaved twice a week max, or if he wasn’t seeing me, maybe once a week if he had a meeting. He looked homeless by about day 3

If he grows it longer it will soften up and won't be spiky and you won't have a cornflake chin.

I’ve not properly kissed DH for about 10 years due to the pain of stubble rash. Just not worth the red rash and soreness.

Oh, I missed that it was just stubble. Yeah, no suggestions!