Porn addiction

[Mae96]

Sorry if this is a long one, I just really don’t know what to do!
i am a 26 year old female been with my partner (29) for nearly 10 years, we have a 12 week old daughter together (IVF baby)
so during lockdown 2020 I noticed my partner been ‘off’ with me, no intimacy, didn’t want to talk to me, kept not been able to get or keep an erection so then started using viagra. At this point we were going through rounds of ivf so brushed it off as stress.
he admitted to me that he had watched porn a couple of times but my gut told me it was more. (We had said at the beginning of our relationship that we don’t condone porn in relationships)
anyway fast forward to after having our daughter, the conversation came back up again as I sobbed to him how disgusting I feel in myself in my new post partum body.
I recently discovered that he had been watching porn ALL the time, even when I was in hospital after having our daughter, when I was in the house, when I’d left the house, parked up before work, when I was working night shifts, especially whilst been pregnant!
i found out he’d used video chat rooms, calling sex lines when I was at work!
there where other things he did (lies) that I can get over but the porn just really hurts me, he said he liked the reactions the porn stars had when having sex so now if we have sex and I don’t sound like those porn stars (moans) then he loses his erection which then makes me feel disgusting but then I also don’t want to be fake because porn isn’t real!
he’s started counselling but I just can’t seem to stop thinking about it all the time, it’s driving me insane!
what do I do!!😔

Yeah googling something like that probably a bit risky. I know for actual prostitution it’s older, 19 I believe is the official number but that’s quite hard to confirm as there are many reasons someone lies about their age. Sex industry work includes stripping, which if I remember correctly is the most common entry into the industry. Stripping isn’t always fully nude.

My partner has a porn addiction and I recently found out he’s been going into work early to watch it. Not only that he’s been lying about it when confronted and made me feel like I was going crazy, I even booked an appointment to see my psych as I have a bipolar diagnosis and started to think I might be poorly. Our sex life is none existent and it takes away the closeness in our relationship. Is there anyway back from this? We’ve been together 10 years and he shows emotion towards this, however I don’t know if I can trust him anymore. Has anyone gotten over something like this and if so how?

@EarthFae hello! So it’s me again, the OP who wrote the post! I came back across this post I did and it’s has now been roughly just over a year since I had discovered it all!
so we did counselling this past year, got into a really good place within our relationship (so I thought) but I could never shake that gut feeling of him still watching it!
anyways, fast forward to a few weeks ago, we had completed counselling as the counsellor believed we had overcome it all! But again, i couldn’t shake the gut feeling! Anyway a week ago, I asked him if he was still watching it (bearing in mind throughout this year I have cried to him begging him to tell me if he’s still watching it ect, he out right said no) and low and behold, he had been! So we are now in the process of breaking up and going from there really!
I guess I just wanted to say that no matter what you do, follow your gut! If they don’t want to change/get help, then they won’t! No matter what you do to try and help!
I wish you the best of luck and I hope your story turns out more positive than mine did!x

I have just found a porn addiction within my relationship too 😵‍💫 plus very intimate photos and videos of me whilst sleeping. Thing is these images are from 14 yrs ago and have just found them two days ago trawling through some old files. God knows how many other images of me there are. I also found images of random topless women on the beach taken during a family holiday. He is watching porn at work and at home. This is a two-fold problem, addiction to these pages and voyeurism. I have told him I want a divorce, but not sure whether to leave it just at divorce as the man is a danger to women around him.