Facebook

[GreyCarpet]

Some one I dated for 5 months about 6 years ago has just come up on my fb as 'someone you might know'!

I don't really understand how fb algorithms work. He's not in my contact list - his messages aren't on my phone, he lives about 15 miles away and I didn't meet him locally so we've not checked in at any of the same places, we don't have any shared interests listed, mutual groups or friends... his connection to me would be as it would be with anyone I'd never met and equally had no common interests/connections with.

How on earth does this happen?

He might have looked you up, and it’s created a connection.

Nope. This is a myth.

You don’t appear on someone’s “people you may know” list by stalking them.

Yeah, I don't think he's been looking me up! It took a few seconds to work out who it was. I initially just thought I recognised the name.

I'm more curious about how fb does make connections than the fact he's popped up as a potential one.

There is literally nothing to connect me and him online or in real life. Just seems like a huge coincidence that a totally random suggestion would be someone I actually know!

Maybe he still has you in his contacts? I don't know if it works like that, speculation only.

Maybe, I hadn't considered that. I know fb does sometimes pick up random people from your contact list. I've just not had it happen before unless I have mutual friends with the person.

Facebook asks you if you'll share your contact list. Even if you haven't, he might have.

Ah sounds like it's probably that then.

Thanks

If either one of you has the others number or email in contacts, it can link you.

I sure hope that you can't come up just for stalking people, because I stalk exes from like 20 years ago all the time! Very happily married to dh for a long while, but I'm super nosey. 😂

Once I saw an old flat mate I hadn’t see in 10 years. It was just in passing and we didn’t stop and chat. Later that day she popped up in my ‘people you may know’. I was like WTF!

It's most likely that he's a friend of a friend of a friend.

I do think it does suggest people you have looked up. I looked up someone from a news article a while ago and they were then suggested to me. I have often had friend suggestions for people I have searched.

That happened to me a few months ago but it was some random guy I'd spoken to from online dating 10+ years ago. I remembered his name but I don't have him as an email contact (can't remember if we ever emailed) and he doesn't live especially close to me, weird.

Maybe Tinder and FB are sharing data?

Yup contact list is the most likely one. Remember that FB is linked to Insta and WhatsApp.

The 'looking up' thing... Don't think that's a myth, but it doesn't mean that he has looked you up, it's possible but you can't know.

You get some weird 'people you may know'. I was in a room with my friend and his gf for 10 minutes and next she comes up as 'people you may know' for example. Or someone I stalked (oops!) but never ever met came up as 'people you may know'. In both cases no real connection to person/ no details exchanged.

@mindutopia - I must be the nosiest person ever. I stalk exes from over 30 years ago, recent exes and their partners and an ex partner of my exes ex.

Unfortunately my recent ex isn't on social media. I'd love to know if he is with someone.

Yes, I'm EXcellent at FB stalking

I remember a man who stood me up suddenly appear on ‘people you may know’ saw he’d been in a relationship for years, clearly just a cheat/ time waster

Hi there! It's not uncommon to be puzzled by the mysterious ways of Facebook algorithms. It's possible that this person has recently joined Facebook and has uploaded their contacts from their phone, which could include your number. Facebook may have used your location data to suggest people who live nearby. It may have used other data points such as your browsing history or similar pages you both have visited to suggest the connection.