First time in a while

[Schloe]

Im a name changer, been on here a good while - remember all the classics elderly Korean lady, cancel the cheque etc

tomorrow I’m planning to sleep over at the house of the guy I’m dating. We’ve been on a few dates and I like him, happy for it to go there etc and looking forward. Obviously there are a few nerves (what if he thinks I’m weird / ugly / doesn’t want to see me again) but I guess it is what it is, I’m still getting to know him too…

im late 20s and coming out the end of a very dry period… Mainly by choice as I didn’t want to do casual and hadn’t met anyone who I had even a superficial emotional connection with. I haven’t told the guy this as don’t want to freak him out and also I imagine we are both looking to see if it goes somewhere although early signs seem positive I think.

my question is does anyone have any help on how to ease my nerves or tips?! I’m coming from work but will freshen up before and try and look reasonably attractive (I’m no supermodel but he has said a few times that he thinks I’m pretty which is lovely). Guessing I being overnight stuff like PJs?

also during the act itself… First time with someone new is always awkward isn’t it. We’ve kissed / snogged etc etc and all good there, in fact he said I was a good kisser which is an underrated compliment 😂 But yeah when it comes to actual PIV, is boring ok for the first time with someone new?! Like standard missionary or do I need to go adventurous. I know there’s no wrong or right but I don’t want to look like a prude or like I don’t know what I’m doing.

promise I’m not a troll and happy for this to be moved to the sex topic. I just don’t want to f it up although appreciate that if I do, he’s not the guy for me etc

I always think it's best to master vanilla with a new partner and introduce more kink as you become familiar with one another

Missionary is not boring! I think it's a standard for the first time to be on the conservative side. But just play it by ear. You'll probably put something on tv, cuddle, kiss and then escalate. I would have my bag packed and ready so I get home, eat something, clean my teeth and shower and then go to his.

Just enjoy it. Nerves and the unknown is all part of it. Remember, it takes a long time to know what partners like in the bedroom. He is just as new to this with you, as you are him. Just be yourself and enjoy where it goes.

I probably wouldn't go full on suspender set. On my first sleepover with DH I wore just a comfy lounge set. (Wooly shorts and matching jumper)

Don't put any pressure on yourself. If he likes you and is a genuine nice guy, he is probably feeling the nerves too.

Everyone's gone through dry spells. Missionary isn't boring. It's actually my fave. Get to connect with the other partner so much more with missionary.

But don't put any pressure to perform or be adventurous. If you get there and you're too uncomfortable or it's a bit early for sex, speak up!

Have a couple of glasses of wine and enjoy the night.

Alcohol helps the nerves

Been there not too long ago 🤗

What makes you feel confident and puts you in a good mood? Music to listen to beforehand, particular clothes/ perfume/ underwear? What makes you feel like you have the world at your feet and you can conquer anything?

For me it would be a glass of red, my favourite outfit with heels and upbeat music that reminds me of happy times, but everyone is different.

I think as long as you're both excited about this and comfortable around each other, which sounds like you are, it'll be great.

Not sure how you guys naturally talk, but if you're quite flirty and forward, maybe find out in a playful way what he enjoys, and tell him what turns you on?

No such thing as boring, it will likely be vanilla. Remember, he will be nervous and excited too, and the very first time likely won't be tantric in duration 😎 Put each other at ease and take it at your pace, whatever that might be.

Nothing wrong with admitting you’re a bit nervous OP. If things seem to be going well could you say something like you’d like to take things slow as it’s been a while and you’re a bit nervous? Any decent guy will be absolutely fine with that.

Vanilla is fine, btw. You’re not there to perform like a seal in a circus. You’re there to enjoy. Both of you are.

You can let him know about your kinky/fetish streak over the course of a few months

Don’t forget the condoms

He'll be just as nervous as you! I really wouldn't worry about positions or anything like that, just see where it takes you. He's definitely not going to be complaining

Believe me he will be just as nervous as you, just go at the pace that suits you I am sure you will have a lovely time

Forget about SEX. This is just the two of you together, close together, and the rest of the world doesn't matter/can go fuck itself. Try to remember what it was like when you were 11years old and could be playful with your sensations.