What do I do? Issues re Daughter's boyfriend

[Tamrastarr]

I am looking for advice on what I should do as I am in a bit of turmoil!
My eldest DD has been in a relationship for around 8 years and has two young children. Her partner runs a restaurant and my younger DD has recently started working there part time.
Staff at the restaurant have told my younger DD some stories about my older DD's partner. These include inappropriate attention to some female staff, propositioning staff, and bringing women back to the restaurant late and telling them they would like to take them to hotels etc (overheard by staff closing up). She has heard these stories from three or four different people, so she assumes they are true.
My issue is what to do? Do I speak to him and let him try and make light of it? Do I speak to my DD? From the stories it doesn't seem as if there is any evidence he has actually cheated but it sound likely.

I’d get more info on the folk telling her first before doing anything. Do they know she’s a relative of his wife/partner? Are these people all in a group of friends? Do they have a score to settle with him since he’s the boss?

I just can’t imagine someone being stupid enough to bring their sister in law into the business if he thought there was any chance she’d find out about things like that. And I know some extremely stupid folk.

@HighlandPony They do know they are related. I don't really think there are scores to settle, some of them still work there, some don't.

This could get very messy very quickly, so to be honest, I think it might be best if your younger dd finds another job somewhere else. And the sooner the better.

You can consider how to tackle the rest of it in due course.

I think you have to tell your elder daughter. It sounds like the sort of thing that will come out

this doesn’t really make sense -

1. why would he imploy his sister in law there if he was using his restaurant to play away?
2. if it’s true and they know he’s related to your DD, surely she’s the last person they’d tell?

As a mother you can’t sit on this information sadly.

I think you have to tell your daughter.

Why would she be the last person they would tell? Are you assuming that most people would want to cover for a cheat?

I would speak to your daughter. Her partner will likely deny it whether he’s innocent or not.

@Naunet because he pays their wages, and most people aren’t keen to bite the hand that feeds them

They are a young team and I think they just feel that he is a dick and they aren't afraid to vent their feelings. They are part time employees in hospitality, they don't see this as a long term career, so I guess they have nothing to lose. Some of them have already left the job, but they stay in touch.

I would get your younger DD to tell your eldest. I’m in my 30s… I’d feel better talking to my sibling about this. But you absolutely have to tell her. How would she feel if she knew you knew and didn’t let her know?