What’s it called when…

[OutDamnedSpot]

… men need to constantly educate you about things?

I was seeing a guy until very recently who seemed to want to impart knowledge at every opportunity. It was really mundane things, (‘do you know how Ordnance Survey got that name?’) and usually totally unprovoked/unrelated to what we were doing or discussing. If I said no, he would ‘teach’ me, usually using lots of fake rhetorical questions (‘but you know was Ordnance is, right?’) If I said yes, he’d challenge me (‘go on then…’)

I could never find a way out of it (‘Why are you telling me this?’ ‘I’m not really interested’ etc would all fail) and it eventually led to our break up when I just refused to engage with the questions, but now it’s really annoying me that I can’t articulate what was so wrong with it.

Beyond, ‘just bloody irritating’ is anyone able to articulate what this is? Does it have a name?

Thank you.

Rebecca Solnit has written a book about this. It's called Men Explain Things to Me.

It sounds like he’s “mansplaining”

Glad you escaped the mansplainer. I once had a guy mansplain the period pain I was experiencing!

I’ve always understood mansplaining to be men explaining things you already knew about. He definitely did that too (my favourite was when he explained to me - a teacher - how hard teaching was. He wasn’t one 🤷🏻‍♀️).

But these aren’t even things I’ve shown an interest in? Like he needed to show his knowledge? Or prove he was cleverer than me?

He was lovely in loads of ways. But this was soooo irritating.

I would call him , in technical terms of course, a patronising twat.

I’ve had a man mansplain to me how painful it is to give birth.

I’ve just ordered it @AnnapurnaSanctuary Thank you.

I work with one of these. We are in a small team so I can't avoid being in meetings with him and he rings me at least once a day where he does this.

It makes me feel small, stupid and angry.

'Should have been directed by the careers advisor to become a particularly boring History/Geography Teacher'?

That's the problem - if all he saw was the leather patch tweed jacket and not the opportunity to drone on at 30 bored Y8s on threat of detention, and foolishly decided to become an accountant or civil servant instead, he's missed his calling - and has to get his fix from boring unfortunate women instead.

Sorry OP but your description of him carrying on after you literally say "why are you telling me this? I'm not really interested" really made me laugh. But it's also the worst bit... your thoughts, feelings and opinions are completely irrelevant to him.

I think we can still call what this man did as mansplaining. He over-explained things to you... he didn't care if you knew the answer or if you were interested. He's the man, therefore he knows the answer and he MUST explain it to the woman. It's infuriating and I'm not sure there's a cure for those men who suffer from mansplaining.

I think some very socially inept blokes sort of "collect" random facts and display them because they think it makes them interesting.

It’s exactly that @SunsetsArePretty

The relationship has ended because he was ‘angry’ when I refused to enter into one of these conversations. Like his ego is totally destroyed? But what about my ego, or how I felt when he was telling me these totally pointless facts?

Sorry. I know I’m better out of it, I’m just struggling to articulate what actually went wrong, apart from “he was a patronising, boring twat” (because he wasn’t always; he could be really good company)

😅😅😅

So how did ordnance survey get its name?

Nice 👍🤣

Well, you know what Ordnance is, right?

(The answer is so obviously “No!! Or I’d be able to work out where ordnance survey got it’s name. Because I’m not thick” <and breathe>)

Haha I think I do this , but I only do it with people who do the same, a bit like Chris and Xand's fact off, or people who are interested, I hope ! I love random facts.

Wondering how many other people have just googled ordnance.
Certainly learn something new every day!

Well not me as like op....... 'I'm not really interested' 😂

I’ll send you his number @Noluthando

😂