Hi, I'm 27, 11 weeks pregnant with my first child, my husband and I have been together since we were 16 and 17, we got married March this year, bought a house 4 years ago together and are doing quite well. We have common problems like all couples, mostly to do with a difference in upbringing up nothing major.
Some background: My long term friends from high school have always had a problem with my husband, my best friend in particular feels he is controlling and has called him abusive multiple times. The accusations of abuse stem from money problems (lots of maxed credit cards) which have been sorted out now, my husband created a budget for me and worked out a plan to pay the debt off and also allow me to have a life at the same time, not abusive imo, just logical. She blew up at the time at him, and accused him of controlling me and my finances and being unreasonable.
I will be very clear, he grew up with an abusive father and would NEVER treat me that way, ever. Period. I have been in abusive domestic relationships (family members) My mother was abusive, my aunt and my nan have been as well. Also, I have had money problems (lots of maxed credit cards) which have been sorted out now.
The behaviour is in relation to the fact Mike has partner isn't well rehearsed in cleaning, his family home wasn't clean or well kept, he has learnt and is actively trying. He never did laundry so that has been something he has learnt to do as well as cooking healthy meals. Could he do more? Yes. Do we both work full time and already have a cleaner.. yeah. So it's ok atm I'm not fussed. The issue is whenever I meet up with my friends who are women, they gossip and moan about their lives, partners and whatever else and expect me to join in. I have little interest and I don't hate my life, so I feel out of place. I have occasionally moaned now and then to them about how he's probably not pulling his weight as much with the chores - which then diverts into a hour long lecture about how he is the most inattentive being on the planet somehow and should 'step up' because he will be a father soon. I honestly don't know what they expect from him sometimes, the kid isn't even here til late April/early May.
Another thing that happened recently is they kept complaining now I'm pregnant they have to adjust outings (halloween for example) because I can't drink and mates holidays will never be the same because I'll have a child and can't fly at the drop of a hat. Like I'm sorry I'm pregnant jeez
Should I cut these people off? I feel like I may have outgrown them. I have other mates, who are more mature and more aligned with my hobbies and interests. These friends just want to drink, party and gossip it seems idk