At the end of my tether

[Autumn231]

I’ve name changed for this as some details might be outing.

I’m just absolutely at the end of my tether.

I’m around 12 weeks pregnant and struggling with sickness despite being on sickness meds. I also have a 2.5yo DS who has just hit the tantrum phase.

My partner is disabled so he is limited to some extent as to what he can do to help. But I really feel like he should be doing more. I feel like absolute crap today and he didn’t see DS at all yesterday due to us being out in the morning then him working in the afternoon/ evening.

This morning I asked him to get off his phone and play with DS for 5 mins so I could go and be sick and he made a sarcastic comment about it.

We don’t have much that needs doing today - food shop, laundry away, dog walk. But I need to do it all, he can’t do any of it. Which would be fine if he would then also do the parenting while I got on with stuff, but he doesn’t.

My DS is constantly asking for me instead which I know is normal but I think is partly because I spend the bulk of time with him despite also working full time.

Anyway it all came to a head today and I burst out crying. My son came to give me a kiss / hug, my DP had yet to acknowledge I’ve even been crying or asked what the matter is.

I don’t know whether this is just early pregnancy putting pressure on or if it’s the end of the road for us but I just want to scream. I feel so unsupported and unloved right now, I just needed to off load somewhere.

You are unsupported. I don’t know about unloved but he’s not remotely caring or useful so I’d feel the same as you do. What do you want to do? What other support do you have around you?

Has he ways been so useless? Are you financially supporting him?

In what way is he disabled?

Why can’t he do a food shop online? That’s something he can definitely do.

And if you’re doing everything else of course he needs to be parenting your child, he should be doing that anyway and shouldn’t need to be asked/told!

Are you working? And doing everything in the house?something needs to change.You say he is disabled that can mean he needs a carer to very little support and able to function quite well,which is it?Try an online shop that is one job he could do.Who normally walks the dog?Laundry can be divided between you ,he can do his own.Stay strong.

No we are pretty equal in terms of the money we bring in. He does do all the washing, I do all the putting away. But other than that I do almost all the house jobs.

We did used to do an online shop which helped but we stopped doing it to try to save money. Might be worth starting again just to ease the load.

The dogs are a tricky one. We go out together but that’s becoming more of a pain with DS at the moment and he can’t take them alone so it falls on me.

I’ve tried to ask him if he could ask for more support from his parents, they are close, but it just doesn’t happen. We get a lot of support from my parents but again that just adds to the resentfulness as they live a lot further away than his.

He also can’t take DS out of the house by himself due to his disability so I just feel like I never get a break.

@Ragruggers sorry just spotted your question, he can function quite well and doesn’t need a cater but does need extra support (for example at work he has a support worker).