How do you make your partner leave?

[stationroads]

I’m posting on behalf of someone else and I have posted before but removed that thread as I was worried about some of the details being outing.

How do you make someone leave when they point blank refuse?

My relative is in an abusive relationship. Her husband will not leave the house.

How do you make them?

He is making her life a living misery.

She has left before but gone back as she doesn’t want to leave her home.

What have other people done in this situation?

Thanks

If the house is in his name or joint names then she can’t really make him move out unless police are involved (she reports the abuse).

The house is privately rented in her name.

Encourage her to ring Women's Aid. She needs support and advice from experts.

Ok, thank you. I’ve contacted Refuge but unfortunately their chat is only available Mon - Fri. So thought I’d ask here in the meantime.

Actually I’m holding for them now as their phone lines are open 24 hours.

If the house is in her name only then she rings the police, tells them he's been abusive and asks them to remove him.

This is what I did when in an abusive marriage. Every time I had to leave as he refused and his name was on the tenancy so the police could do nothing. Eventually I only went back if he removed himself from the tenancy, which he did. Next time he kicked off the police removed him and he was never allowed back.

Thank you, that’s good to know.

I’m currently 5th in the que. I will hold for another hour or so and see what they say.

The abuse is emotional and psychological.

She has kept all the messages from him but it’s very hard to prove as in these messages, he seems like he is being caring and compassionate but when you know the backstory it is abuse.

When he leaves the house, she changes the locks. The police are reluctant to remove people whose habitual residence is in dispute.

I managed to speak to Refuge, it was a two hour wait, they said we need to call the Police and ask them to remove him.

They also said he should be reported for everything he has done to date. They said she should do this, incase anything happens in the future, so they have it on record.

It will also be helpful to have this recorded so he potentially cannot have unsupervised access to their baby.

I only told them three things he had done as I didn’t want to hold up the next caller and they said he is clearly ill and needs to leave ASAP or my relative needs to leave ASAP and resolve using the Police.

If he might be reasonable she takes herself and any dc away for a few nights and tells him she wants him gone by the time she's back, pointing out that the house is in her name.

If she suspects he'll be unreasonable she changes the locks whilst he's out and leave his stuff somewhere safe. Again usually best to go away for a few days.

If in the latter situation he kicks off the police should be called.

Does he have anywhere to go? He is not in any way her responsibility but he's likely to kick off a lot more if he has literally nowhere to go. Paying for a few nights in a travellodge and telling him his stuff is already there would diffuse a lot of anger.

Youve had excellent advice.
Your relative needs to be strong and resolute and be prepared to call the police. She should keep every shred of evidence.
The house is in her name only so she can change the locks and refuse to let him in. He kicks off, she calls the police. (She can then inform the landlord that lock change was necessary for her safety and security and give landlord a key. )
Fingers crossed she follows the advice and has a happier, safer life without him.