When I was young I witnessed and was part of a lot of domestic violence between my mother and her many partners, I was a very anxious child and rightly so. I suffered with anxiety very badly which resulted in physical symptoms (twitching and humming to calm me down) she took me to the GP which resulted in a referral to CAMHS. She read a lot of crap online and was always diagnosing herself with stuff from Google and told my consultant she believed I had Tourette's because I hummed and she'd hear me swear (I never had said a swear word in my life, I was always terrified of stepping out of line) she said I used to always say the word "c*" I never even knew what it meant and I was prescribed haloperidol for Tourette's also used for schizophrenia. I started having seizures very severely for years (slight brain injury due to the seizures caused by misdiagnosis and medication I didn't need because I didn't have Tourette's. I'm now left with a movement disorder that is common in the older generation. I'm the youngest in the clinic (23, was diagnosed at 16) I live in pain every single day, she has always put partners before her kids and is total narcissist. I raised my little sister for years so she could go out every day shopping with disability money she claimed for me and I never saw a penny of it, claimed a car through DVLA for me (flash BMW) I got nothing of the £600 high rate a month she was getting for me and also claiming for herself. Finally got an apprenticeship receiving £400 a month and she was taking £200 a month of that for board. I didn't mind paying my way but she was getting £800 off of me. I felt like I was used for the money. At 18 I finally had the funds to leave home and she cried her eyes out begging me to stay because she'd lose my money and the car. (Still has the car) I cut her off because of her behaviour, she caused me to have a movement disorder that causes me pain and spasms and medications I'll be on for the rest of my life and all she cared about was the money. I tried rekindling the relationship 2 years later for my grandmas sake, I didn't want to. She never respected my wishes but I tried for her my grandparents did so much for me raising me and supporting me, they're incredible people. I got married and asked she didn't come to see me before I walked down the aisle because I wanted to be alone, she turned up and wouldn't leave till I walked down, I closed myself in the toilet and cried before I walked down because I was uncomfortable and didn't want her there. When I was pregnant she begged to have a key to sit and wait in my house, and ever the hospital car park. I told her no and she started messaging my husband, she also got the same response from him. She cried and caused so much trouble resulting in friends and family cutting me out, messaging me telling me how nasty I treat her.
My brother who also was abused by her and her partners left home at 17 (were twins so I also 17 still lived at home), he to live in a drug house, he was a very heavy user after that. I was told that if I spoke to him I'd be out on the street. I rang him every night, transferring him money for food, dropping him off shopping. I saw him in some states, drugged up, in danger due to drug debts, I worried I'd get the call he'd be dead. He wasn't eating, he was depressed. My grandparents rescued him risking themselves and got him clean, my mother and her new partner watched this all happen. Before he got clean he told my mother what he though of her, she screamed to her new partner that he pinned her up against the car, my brother didn't I was there and seen it all, her new partner came out and tried to beat the crap out of my brother. I intervened and told her she needs to stop lying, it's all she ever does which is why I can't stand her. I wonder if my brother is mad because I decided to cut my mother off for good for my mental health and for my little girls sake and moved away from her and now he won't have anything to do with me, I did so much for him and I loved him and cared for him during a time he needed it, risking consequences for myself. He never congratulated me when his niece was born almost a year ago. My husband messaged him when she was 3 months to let him know I was struggling with PPD and he wasn't interested. It's been almost a year I haven't spoke to him and I'm heartbroken. My grandparents see me a lot and I see them too but they don't tell my mother they've seen me due to the consequences of what she'll say or do, she threatened them last time she'd stop them seeing their youngest granddaughter(my little sister) my husband is fed up of me being a secret within my own family and that I'm always second best to keep her happy and wants to say something, he's tired of seeing me hurt. I'm heartbroken to say the least. This woman has caused me so much misery and I cut her off for that reason and she still manages to find a way. I have no friends because of her and only my grandparents in my family. How do I handle this
situation? :(