Struggling with romantic attraction and making emotional connections

[Username9582]

So im a man in his early 20s and although im straight (Im not gay or anything) but I have trouble developing romantic feelings for women. I have tried dating but its like I just pretend to like them just so that it eventually leads to sex and kids, Im a lot more interested in raising kids than getting married. Even romantic gestures make me cringe and Im not the type of man to take a woman out on a fancy date, Id just rather order a chinese and watch neflix tbh.

Im not asexual because I very much desire sex and I always have sexual fantasies about women that I see.

I do want kids and I do want my kids to have a mother figure. Its like I just want a FWB where we both raise kids together but dont get romantically involved.

But I know women need that emotional connection to be attracted to a man which I try to give them.

Im much more interested in sex and raising kids than being in a romantic relationship

We had this a couple of months ago.

I actually think this is more normal than we probably realise.

I'm a woman and not single but I struggle maintaining mental, emotional, romantic and sexual interest with any one person.

There are probably women on a similar page to you out there.

This exact thread pops up every so often, it's getting a bit boring now.

You want someone who's great company who you also fancy. I think you've just been missing the great company bit so far.

You could be aromantic.

You should read about queer platonic relationships.

Also.
I’m asexual, but feel romantic attraction and some people get pretty angry about it and tell me that it’s not a thing (feeling romantic but not sexual attraction) so I guess it’s not that unusual to not feel romantic attraction, only sexual.
I think a lot of people confuse sexual attraction to romantic attraction and believe they are ”in love”, when they in fact may not be.

Yup- where does friendship and caring about each other come into it OP? Love isn't just fancy meals and flowers. And if you're going to raise kids with someone you're going to need a lot more than a sexual connection.

The phrase 'I just pretend to like them so that it eventually leads to sex and kids' is beyond fucking creepy.

Agree with the first poster, almost identical post a month or so ago.

Other than that, cut the crap. You just want to shag. Stop with the faux wanting babies and stuff. You just want to get laid. You’re 20 ffs.

Plenty of folks out there also want no strings fucks so just go find them. No emotional connection, real or imagined, needed.

Most women with an ounce of self esteem will sense a mile off you’re just after a shag and will know the rest of the garbage you’re spouting is just saying what you think women want to hear so you get what you want.

@CharlotteCollinsneeLucas but I have plenty of male friends who provide great company so I dont really look for that in a woman. Its just the sex and kids which Is why I date women, If I wasnt getting any sex in a relationship then id 100 percent leave.

Maybe I've not found the right women yet but I have never felt in love, I've seen girls who I've wanted to shag but I have never had a crush

It's is because you're one dimensional and boring?
Why do you think women want to have your children?
Do you just get shagged and dumped but you want more?

I have plenty of male friends who provide great company so I dont really look for that in a woman

You're very unlikely to find any woman who wants to parent children with you with that attitude, and a good thing too. Women are people. People of both sexes can be good company. You appear to just want to use a woman to get pregnant and then be a nanny. If you don't see women as equal, you shouldn't be bringing up children.

No one has a right to parenthood - plenty of people end up never being parents. Maybe if you work on yourself, someone might want to spend their life with you and raise children. As you are now, your attitudes are deeply unattractive.

So basically you're looking to fake an emotional connection so a woman will stay with you. Yeah, I agree with EBearhug's post just now.

I do want kids and I do want my kids to have a mother figure. Its like I just want a FWB where we both raise kids together but dont get romantically involved

I think it's a good thing that you are honest with yourself and are having these thoughts about what you want.

I don't think you're terribly unusual OP. This board is full of women who seem to be married to men who married them mainly for their looks and sex, and fuck off every weekend golfing or cycling. I'm sure some of those men have simply checked out of the marriage, but I think a lot of them never really married wife for her personality.

Please don't be those men - those women end up terribly lonely, wondering where their husband is, or knowing there's something wrong whilst he denies there's anything amiss.

I'm sure there are dating websites that cater exactly to this. I think there was an atricle about more and more people getting together mainly for kids. Have a look around.

but I have plenty of male friends who provide great company so I dont really look for that in a woman

Romantic connection is the type that is different, deeper and more heartfelt maybe than platonic ones, no matter how great your friends' company is. I don't think that everyone is built for this.

Have you ever had a woman friend, OP?

If not, what was your relationship with your mother like?