Firstly I apologise as this will probably be jumbled up. I just feel at the end of my tether with him. We have two toddlers, one attends nursery now.
- he is always late from work, supposed to finish at 3, but will be there till at least 5.30pm every night with giving no notice as to when he will be home even though he knows the children will need to eat before 6pm as they have bed at 7pm. He says he 'needs' to be there that he's in charge, he's not the manager, nor the lower level workers so he doesn't 'need' to be.
- as a result he rarely sees the children during the week as it always seems he has timed it so that he finishes when they are in bed.
- he gets annoyed if myself and the children eat dinner without him, even when he doesn't let me know that he will be late and that I don't like to eat late as it bloats me.
- when he is home he is moody, shouts so easily at something the children have done and launches into over the top punishment which then causes them to get so upset. He is also either on his phone or staring at the TV, even when I try and talk to him he says 'what were you saying' it's not that he's engrossed in the programme I think it's no respect nor care for what I say. If the children call him or want his attention to look at something he just ignores it and they have to repeat themselves 3 or 4 times just for a base response.
- he is supposed to have weekends off but has now started working Saturdays too. And even when he is home on a Saturday he has his friends over as he complains he hasn't seen them all week (nor myself/children I might add), then will go out and leave us home.
- he has never done anything with the children as just him and them, besides one food shop that resulted in him shouting and them being upset (they are only toddler ffs) as a result I have never had even a few hours on my own since having children (I was meant to be having therapy for ptsd but can't as he won't have the children while I do it)
- doesn't care/notice when I'm tired/sick/in pain, even though I have medical conditions which flare up through being run down etc. Yet if he has a sniffle or a headache anyone would think he was on the verge of dying.
- have tried speaking to him about how I am feeling, but get nothing in response or get told I'm being silly/selfish. This then turns into him gaslighting me (pointed out by a nurse in hospital when I was pregnant).
- he comments on everything I do, eg what the children eat (though he gives in when they don't want main meals and let's them have whatever they like), when I have rules about playing ball in the house, playing with doors, fighting each other in a tantrum because the other won't share, etc.
He makes me feel like I'm a terrible mother, although I know I'm the only one who is there 24/7 for them, knows what they need by paying attention, school teachers names, vital appointments at drs, what toys they like, what they find funny/sad, etc.
I don't really know what I want/need people to say, I think I needed to vent and see maybe if someone else is going through similar or has been or knows someone or has advice or something. I've tried speaking with him but it just doesn't work and I'm so frustrated and tired with feeling like I have another child who really should be more, I don't know, there, I suppose.