How do you deal with moody partners?

[CherryCupcake]

My partner is a complete jackyl and hyde. Sometimes he is funny, life of the party type and then all of a sudden he just changes. He has suffered in the past with bipolar but I'm finding his moods hard to deal with. He's just such a misery and he drinks too which makes it worse.

Last week for instance was great, we had a laugh, he took me out for a suprise meal, we had friends over, looked into going on holiday but then by friday he was drinking and his mood was going rapidly down hill. My spider senses started tingling when he began picking on me for bits and pieces "why do you constantly take the mirror out of the bathroom?" "why is there cornflakes on the floor?" etc and today he's just been horrible. Refuses to talk to me, aggressive, says we cant afford a holiday.

I know its his mind state and I feel bad moaning about him when its not really his fault but how much should I be expected to take before I start pining for a "Normal" relationship?

You say he has suffered in the past with being bi-polar but if you have been diagnosed as bi-polar it is a lifelong thing - impossible to cure. It can only be controlled through meds and counselling (mostly meds) - is he on anything?

OMG I have been there. I used to go away and cry, it wore away at me so much. "Why are all the lights on?" "Why are you still in bed at this hour?" "Why are the curtains not open?"
"dealing" with it meant putting up with it for as long as I could before weeping secretly or posting on Mumsnet or bitching to my friends. I used to have a secret blog I would unload to as well.

What I mean is, you are the one with the stress, not him. He just carries on his own sweet way.

I left in the end. I used to say things when we argued like "Do you WANT to be happy? Cos I do" He got his act together and got meds and things are better, but the moods are still there.

To answer your question, it depends how much you feel you are worth - behaviour like that tends to wear you down. You deserve the relationship that makes you happy where you can air your feelings without feeling miserable, depressed and put-upon.

redumbrella
I'm new to this bipolar stuff. I have a new partner...3 months...and he told me about the bipolar and he is on meds and he says feeling great but he is still surly, irriable and bossy for no known reason. He hasn't got a licence so I drive but I get a real bitching if I don't know which way to go at a roundabout. Do I shut up or argue it out? Right now he is refusing to speak o me because said I was better at reading the map than him. This all sounds so petty but unfortunately it happens time and again and has not been resolved.
Are bipolars selfish and self centred or do I look elsewhere for the cause of that?
Help... as you all know he is absolutely lovely most of the time
Thanks for any comments