I don’t have a close relationship with my parents. It is extremely superficial and we pass the time for civility. We see each other once a week, which I don’t like, but I put up with to keep the peace.
My mother in particular is a tricky character. We have not any sort of relationship beyond the superficial since I was very young, and she doesn’t know me (or like me much it seems).
Occasionally she will completely blow up, and there’ll be a big show down. This is almost always in order to achieve her own aims, and is usually proceeded by a prolonged ‘needling’ of my father about something I’ve done or haven’t done, which will invariably lead to them tag teaming to gang up on me (but usually results in her crying about something or other).
My father is weak and basically has assigned himself to ‘anything for an easy life’.
Anyway, I’ve noticed that, my father will (for example) ask to hold our baby. But after about 2 mins, tries to give the baby to my mother. Not because he doesn’t want to hold it, but almost as if she refuses to ask me, so he does the asking to ‘get’ the baby for her, and then says ‘here <mother> you have a cuddle with the baby’.
Even more weirdly is that, she usually purposely ignores him the first few times he says it, and then takes the baby (or other child or whatever it is) and holds it for a few mins and then hands it back to me.
He does these weirdly roundabout things in other interactions with the children too. I can only assume in response to complaints at home of whatever perceived lack of interaction there is.
Weirdly however, my mother never (or extremely rarely) initiates any sort of interaction with the children. My father does, and then directs them towards her….
I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this?! And has any insight into why?