Dating do I give up

[Vickimf]

Hi

I am not sure what I am expecting from this post I think I’m will just feel better putting something in to writing for a release.

My background to help people understand I am a women who’s 38 looking to date another women. I have got my own flat, nice car, degree and decent job. I also have mild cerebral palsy from being born two months premature this means I walk with a limp and I don’t have very good balance but other than that it has not stopped me doing anything. (I mean you probably wouldn’t want to hire me to be a waitress lol but other then that I’m pretty okay)

I have alway made sure I take my physio importantly. So now I’m older I just go to the gym and I’m in pretty good shape and even got some abs going on. This is something I enjoy doing and is obviously beneficial for me anyway.

I have been old for just over a year and I am beginning to lose hope. When I have been chatting to someone and they want to meet

I am also honest and open and explain. I wouldn’t want to put someone into a situation where I just turn up and they would be uncomfortable.

Over this time I have been on dates where I have been told that they wouldn’t want their mates to see me. Strung a long for 9 months turns out I was the back up plan. The latest being ghosted.

I know I am know this happens to everyone but it’s hard to not take it personally. It’s not like I need a relationship it would just be nice.

Sorry for the pity post I’m sure I will be fine tomorrow.

Well one thing is for certain the cow who said they wouldn't want their mates to see you does not deserve you. I have met two people through OLD. Both were very different but I know in every day life we would never have met. Next time I will use OLD again. It is just a way of hopefully meeting people who want the same as you. My advice would not be to give up but to meet sooner rather than later because if you talk to someone for a long time,before meeting, you can become emotionally invested in the relationship and the disappointment can be intense. I think it best to mert sooner rather than later . I also think, based on my experience, it's best not to rush things. If you are really disenchanted with online dating, are there any singles specific clubs you could attend'? Good luck.

Sorry for repetition🙄

Hi OP just wanted to send you my best wishes as OLD truly sucks, and the person who said that to you is not worthy of your time. I've been messed around a lot too OLD and feel very cynical about the whole thing, it seems to give people the platform to be hideous to each other. Sadly I met someone in RL recently who ghosted me so I honestly don't know what the answer is? Being single has its perks but it does get very lonely!

Thank you for both of your replies

Value yourself more. For some reason, we women tend to find that hard to do. Don't give up on dating but why don't YOU be the choosy one. Set YOUR bar high. Opinions from people on OLD can be taken with a pinch of salt. There are so many with emotional baggage, that they want to drag you down to make themselves feel better x

You sound lovely.
You've had some rotten luck with OLD so far, but it's all in the game.
If you feel too vulnerable for OLD it's ok to take a break or even decide it's not for you and not use. I'm not suggesting you are the issue, but as you know it can be a horrible experience and sometimes the kindness thing we can do for ourselves is protect ourselves against this.

Thank you to all of you that have taken the time to reply.

I looked though the conversation after the recent ghosting before I deleted it and after explaining everything so she was aware before me met. It went like this.

Her: “Aww I’m so sorry”

Me: “No need to be sorry just one of those things I shouldn’t really be here and it hasn’t stopped me doing anything”

Her: Do you have a wooden leg though?”

Me: “No it’s all mine it’s not like the episode friends it won’t end up in a fire”

I realise now the sorry comment should have made me realise I don’t need someone who feels sorry for me. The other I’m not sure if it was meant to be a joke or not so I just replied trying to downplay it.

I think you have made me realise that it’s not necessarily on me it’s just easy to take personally. If I did not think I was in a good place and could make someone life better I wouldn’t be looking to date.

So trying to be positive it will only take one to change everything and I’ve learnt what I don’t want so I will appreciate the right one even more.