Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Braking point

2 replies

motherofthreee · 15/10/2022 03:31

Hi, it's my first time writing and I'm looking for help, suggestions. I have been with my husband for 14 years and have three kids together. Last night I think I have reached my braking point. He told me he was going out to eat with a coworker. He normally does so I told him to enjoy while stayed home taking care of house chores and kids. He returned at almost 3am with this friend. When I woke up to get the kids ready for school at 7am. my husband and this guy were still in the garage till parting. When his friend left he lied to me where he went, he told me one restaurant but I found the bill to another, he also lied to me and went to the bar and he was still awake because his friend and him did some coke. My husband is a functional alcoholic, he drinks daily. I think a big part of that is due to his job. I always made excuses for his drinking cause he was never mean or abusive. He knows were I stand about drug use and I will not tolerate it nor have our children around it. The problem is I don't work as I take care of the house, pets and kids. I always put my kids and his career first and now I have nothing to fall back on. I'm feeling so alone, I don't feel loved or respected by him. I did try to tell him to leave the house today, he didn't. I feel like my world is crashing and no matter how hard I try nothing works

OP posts:
chali7 · 15/10/2022 04:48

I have no advice other than I'm sorry about your situation and how he's left you feeling. 💖

MrsMinted · 15/10/2022 05:12

That would really make me angry and desperate too. You sound incredibly sad OP. What happens if you try and discuss it when DH is calm?

You know splitting up is going to cause heartache for you and the kids and lots of hassle, but you it is do-able. Not at all easy in this economic climate and it will mean huge changes in your lives. You need to consider what you would do about the fact your DH could have your kids overnight - will you take action to prevent him having unsupervised access due to drugs and alcohol abuse?

Meanwhil could you turn your attention on being ready practically and build your own life to cushion you from the break-up ahead.

How old are your kids? What is the financial position for the family home - will you have to leave/sell up if your DH leaves?

Start today. Get your CV up to date and start the search for paid full-time employment. What did you do before your became a SAHM? If you cannot return to that and if your kids are all in school and if you have space, maybe you could become a childminder.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread