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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Will I ever find someone

9 replies

ImARobot291 · 14/10/2022 23:58

So im not a woman (im a bloke) who is 31 years old and I have never went on a date, I've never even kissed a woman let alone have sex with one but I feel like I've left it too late to start a family.

On paper I have a lot of traits which Im guessing women like (i.e good paying job, 6ft 2, wide shoulders, athletic, Full head of hair, attractive, I do have hobbies and interests etc) but I have always been socially awkward and introverted. During my 20s I struggled a lot with body dysmorphia which stopped me from dating, I did spend some money on my appearance and I was very obsessed with my image. I was also shy and never approached women.

I just spent my 20s working long hours and thinking to myself that it will eventually come but it didnt.

I want to lose my virginity and have sex, I have been thinking of using an escort just to get it out of my system because its just quicker. For every 1 woman who wants a FWB then there will be 500 blokes messaging her so its probaly quicker for me to pay an escort instead.

But I just want my own kids and family, its always been a dream of mine to experience fatherhood, I have the money to support a family so if my wife wanted to be a SAHM then I could support that although its fine if she wants to work.

Everyone I know is married, have GFs, Have kids, have been in relationships before etc . I've tried the apps but usually the only women who like me are the ones who im not interested in (i.e already have kids, dont want kids, have something in thier bio like they are into open relationships or asexual__, overweight etc). Im not that picky btw

OP posts:
RiverSkater · 15/10/2022 00:04

I was sympathetic until the escort comment. Using a woman for sex, how do you square that in your head?

MaybeIshouldnt · 15/10/2022 00:28

Pretty sure I read a near identical thread, practically word for word, not so long ago. People will pick up on the paying for sex bit and the overweight comment, he'll come back trying to defend his reasoning but in an incendiary manner, it'll be a meltdown of epic MN proportions...he's a wind-up merchant. My advice would be to ignore his thread, don't encourage him

ImARobot291 · 15/10/2022 00:31

@RiverSkater but then dont a lot of people use others just for sex (i.e sites like fabswingers)?

Because I never got the chance to have sex, I've tried looking for FWB but for every 1 woman there are about 500 blokes So paying an escort would probaly be the quickest way.

Id much prefer a relationship but I do have sexual desires

OP posts:
VerinMathwin · 15/10/2022 00:33

No, you won't

JestersTear · 15/10/2022 00:36

If you're just looking for sex, then yes, paying for it might be the way to go but it won't help you find a relationship.
To do that, you need to be open to meeting different types of women, with perhaps different options and backgrounds to yours. You need to speak to them like they are people in their own right and not as potential wives. Makes friends, chat and see what happens.

Preeeettyprettygood · 15/10/2022 05:34

Is your name Sam by any chance?

Either case bore off!

fedup078 · 15/10/2022 06:02

Haven't you posted this numerous times?

Shimmyshoo · 02/12/2022 19:12

I see zero men.
I work with women.
I socialise with women.
So it certainly wouldn't ever happen for me without trying.

Shimmyshoo · 02/12/2022 19:16

Apologies my comment was meant for different thread- don't know what happened there.

Could you be autistic?
I mean this in the kindest way.
Sometimes autistic men struggle to connect on a sexual and emotional level. My ex turned out to be autistic and he didn't lose his virginity until 32. He also experienced body dysmorphia.

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