Would you see this as a sign someone may be controlling?

[EatingCoats]

Had second date with someone I met OLD. A couple of comments have left me wondering if they may be an indicator for him being a bit controlling.

I was talking about my dogs and he said his brother has been wanting to get a dog but he’s told him he can’t get one. He followed this up with ‘not that I control his life but I’ve explained why it wouldn’t be a good idea’. If his brother lived with him I’d think it was fair enough for him to have an opinion but he lives 3 hours away, is married and owns his own house.

second comment was about his parents, both retired, and how many holidays they go on. He was quite condescending about them choosing to go on holidays, in a that’s all they have to look forward to kind of way. I didn’t really get what the problem was if they enjoy holidays and have the time to do it.

Are these red flags or just something I should keep an eye on to see if there’s more of a pattern to these type of comments?

Your gut is telling you that there's something about this man you don't like. Please listen.

He seems a bit of a know it all - but it could be nerves - if you like him I would give him a chance.

Yes, red flag. Gives far too much weight to the importance of his own opinion and doesn't see others as his equals.

This.

Huge red flags. My narc ex is like this about other people constantly. I would run a mile

I'd say opinionated rather than controlling....that's not to say he's not controlling but I wouldn't say so based on that alone

The comment regarding the parents would put me right off.

They don’t need to be red flags to be good reasons not to want to date him

Bitter rather than controlling I would say.

He doesn't seem to like other people enjoying themselves or doing/having things they like the idea of.

If he had a partner I think he would pour cold water on everything they enjoy as an individual.

It’d be enough for me to think his opinions are domineering and unattractive, and to say you don’t see a future, bye.

He does seem to value his own opinion rather highly.

If you feel a red flag that should be enough. Women (my past self included) spend a lot of time and energy overlooking and explaining away what our guts tell us. It’s always too our detriment.

I don't think he sounds controlling, but he doesn't sound like a nice person at all. If he's a dick about his brother and condescending about his parents, that doesn't bode well at all.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Yes maybe more opinionated than controlling. The comment about his parents is what gave me more cause for concern. I’ve lost a parent and would have been so happy if they’d got to spend retirement travelling together so I wasn’t sure if that was affecting my thoughts about it.