Unhappy, no intimate or sex

[Unhappy53]

Hi all, for some years now I've been unhappy as wife shows no intimate or doesnt initiate or have sex, it always next week or just ignored, she works nights shifts upto 6 nights me and the son don't see her at night perhaps a couple of hours before work in early evening and thats it. For some years ive wondered there's someone else, when im around her and her friends i feel I'm harshly treated any little error i make is blown out of proportion in front of her friends probably to show how bad i am to them. I Have brought up once she was having an affair but told she wasn't and over heard a phone call where her mother asked the same question and wife put phone down. I don't ask anymore for intimate / sex in fear of bring told im moaning or bringing that up again. Can never do anything right it feels like,, so question is this normal for marriage and i should put up or think about seeing others or leave. Thanks

Leave

so question is this normal for marriage and i should put up or think about seeing others or leave.
Q is this normal for marriage ?
A. No.

Q. i should put up or think about seeing others or leave?
A. Leave.

Can never do anything right it feels like,, so question is this normal for marriage and i should put up or think about seeing others or leave

she is treating you almost with contempt, leave and don’t look back

A relationship without sex is just a friendship.

any little error i make is blown out of proportion in front of her friends

This isn't the behaviour of a friend let alone a spouse.

If you actually see so little of each other could you make time for each other? We had a long period 'dry' just due to life getting in the way. Eventually we had a chat and made time (mum looked after the kids while we 'had lunch'). Even if it's not full on maybe some cuddles and basic getting back together action.

If she's working 6 nights a week and you only see her briefly, it's going to be hard to have a sex-life. Are you working in the day-time? How old is your child?

What leisure time does she get?

How much time do you get together as a couple to talk and just be nice to each other?

You can't really expect a good sex life if you don't have time together - for women, sex often needs to starts with the time/energy to feel sexy, to feel affection for the partner. If it feels like another chore to perform, it's not going to work well.

So many people on MN with sexless relationships, they are pointless. One person frustrated, the other annoyed with their partner for not being understanding.

Are you able to leave, OP?

I'd say you probably need to talk to her. Maybe she's not happy either, and accusing her of having an affair isn't exactly the best way to open a dialogue. Sit her down and have a non-confrontational chat about how you both feel. If she's fine with how things are, leave; you want different things from a relationship.