Is it me or am I right to feel so broken?

[geraniumsandsunshine]

What would you say about a man who 1. Doesn't have a normal relationship with his mother eg never phones her and visits her very rarely and only when encouraged by me.

1. Doesn't initiate conversation
2. Never initiates physical contact
3. Doesn't take responsibility for his actions eg "well if you hadn't done this then that wouldn't have happened".
4. Loses his temper and swears and shouts
5. Doesn't have any friends
6. Doesn't set boundaries for the children (6 year old) eg let's them eat chocolate for breakfast but then later moans eg if you eat chocolate and don't brush your teeth they will rot.

I'd say he was a deadbeat and wonder if he had any redeeming qualities at all

This completely describes my ex. Trust me He wont change -and it will probably get worse - and you will end up feeling lonely in the relationship. And resentful. I wouldn't continue on with him.

He sounds dreadful. One thing I would worry about is that your children may learn that they should not have contact with their own mum (you) when they are an adult. I worry about that in my own family.

That's so true. Luckily I am close wihh the my mum and she is moving to be closer to us. In fact, I realised my children don't know any of his family, bar his mum who they have little contact with. The most hurtful thing is how I have beengaslit and stonewalled for long but how he plays the victim

I would say you have my husband. One who has also nearly completely broken me too.

I wish you peace, and escape.

Trying to think of some redeeming qualities - he pays the bills. Moans about "having to do everything" though. He really doesn't. I carry the mental load.

@Pixiedust1234 solidarity

I would be wondering why anyone would choose to be with this useless twat.

Same. Why do you stay, OP? You have a partner you can make lists of how shit he is. Do you have to be with him, or do you choose to?

I’d ask why you are with him.

I suppose because I am married to him and have children and like many, am trapped financially. I get by because I have friends and hobbbies but have realised I am essentially a single mum but without the financial burdens.

Maybe once my mum is here, I will pluck up the courage to leave him and set myself free