Going NC with a sibling- how do you manage it?

[Gingerlatte]

I've felt I've had to make the decision to go NC with my sibling. I haven't wanted to do this at all, but the baggage they throw at me and the impact on my mental health is too much.

They have a lot of drama in their lives and want reassurance and validation a lot. If I disagree, I get sarcastic remarks.

I've had my own problems over the years and not once has this sibling ever been there for me- I am a resource to them. They couldn't even be pleasant on my birthday.

They involved me in a dispute recently between themselves and one of our parents and they were being nasty. They sought validation from me and I instead told them their behaviour was wrong and that it needed to stop. My sibling suddenly turned on me, raking up things from my past. At that point, I told them to go away and that I no longer wanted anything to do with them.

I've blocked them and I'm finally focusing on my own shit instead of theirs, but I just wondered how people move through their lives without feeling they're making a mistake? If anything happened to them, i would be devastated and I would feel guilty for being NC but also, I can't go on having this person in my life, behaving this way.

How do you come to terms with it? Are you ever at peace with it? Does it always play on your conscience?

By going NC, I'm also going NC with my niece and nephew which feels awful but I don't know what else I can do.

easy for me haven’t spoken to my sister or nephew in over 2 years. It’s a shame I don’t see my nephew but had to cut both off and I don’t regret it at all

I haven't cut my own family off but we cut SIL and her 3 kids off 4 years ago.
Don't regret it one bit, one of the kids recently tried to fleece MIL for £2,000 so... we made the right choice.

How were you planning to keep in contact with your niece and nephew? Do you think it would work out if you went low contact instead of no contact?

I initially went low contact with my sister and my parents, maintained it for a peaceful life and then, after a recent vitriolic episode, I blocked all three. I am
still somewhat in contact with my brother, who is generally pretty drama-free, so if anything were to happen to my parents or my sister, I believe he would contact me. Not sure if this helps, though.

It took me a long time to come to terms with the toxic dynamics and the NC with my original family. It was when I realised they wouldn’t care if I died after NC ( they said as much), that I became confident in my decision. The way I see it, anybody who has chosen to be toxic towards you do not consider or care about you or the repercussions of their actions. So in the long run for your own mental health you have to learn to not care about them in return. It is hard though when it goes against your nature. It sounds crap, but the decision definitely gets easier with time as they become a distant memory.

Thank you. Perhaps I'll just give it time then. In various ways, I've had a much easier week without their drama and toxic screenshots. Life feels lighter at the moment.