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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What support is there for my friend?

5 replies

FabulousFlamingo · 14/10/2022 13:00

A friend of mine is trying to leave an emotionally abusive relationship. She understands the relationship is toxic. She has support from friends, family, therapist etc but she keeps returning. She cannot stay no contact. She knows the reasons why she keeps going back (he's a narcissist/ there's a trauma bond etc.) she is fully educated on the entire issue. She's visited woman's aid website, is reading self help books, has attended Domestic abuse training- the lot!

I read something recently that you should treat EA relationships like an addiction. So this is my question. What support is there for people in this situation? If she was an alcoholic there'd be weekly meetings, online support, support from HC professionals. Maybe even a 'sponsor' who she could call in a weak moment- someone to be accountable to,
which is ultimately what I think she needs.

Is there anything out there for her she hasn't already tried? Or is it really just a case of watching and waiting for the cycle to continue to repeat itself? It's so frustrating and painful watching her go through it time and time again.

OP posts:
FabulousFlamingo · 14/10/2022 15:44

Anyone???

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 14/10/2022 15:48

All you can do is be there for her until she realises

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 14/10/2022 16:13

If she was an alcoholic there'd be weekly meetings, online support, support from HC professionals. Maybe even a 'sponsor' who she could call in a weak moment

Well yes, there's all that, and yet the proportion of alcoholics/addicts who actually get into recovery is tiny. The problem is that your friend, like all addicts, needs to actually want to get clean, and accept the help she's offered. Until she gets that "gift of desperation" she will keep going back.

All you can do is let her know your door is always open.

DoItAfraid · 14/10/2022 16:19

@FabulousFlamingo please direct her towards SLAA -

slaafws.org/

She can attend meetings, get a sponsor, do outreach calls etc

FabulousFlamingo · 14/10/2022 20:01

@DoItAfraid thank you I'll take a look at the link

OP posts:
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