breakup

[Andy2022]

i work with my ex girlfriend. she works for a client of our company. we didnt split up in bad terms and we stayed friends.
she txted me and asked for some assistance and asked if i can help and if im available. i answered ‘anytime my Dear’.
my Girlfriend of two years asked me what i sent to her. i showed her the txt right away without even thinking of anything. for me it doesn't mean anything since i txt the word ‘Dear’ to others too or use it in emails like ‘Dear Ms or Mr’.
my Girlfriend freaked out after she saw it and broke up our relationship because of that.
any advice?
thank you so much!

”My Dear” is completely different to “Dear xyz” and you know it.

@YoSofi so from just that text would you be suspicious?

I wouldn’t at all. Hopefully you get some rational responses and you can show your ex this thread @Andy2022

No, I wouldn’t be suspicious based on that text alone.

It would absolutely not be a deal breaker for me, but seems like it was for his partner.

Has she got any other reason to be suspicious or not trust you? Were things ok between the two of you beforehand?

If she has decided it’s done, then there’s no point showing her a thread - if my ex pulled out his phone to try and convince me to stay with him because a group of strangers on the internet said I was wrong for breaking up with him I’d laugh in his face.

It really doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks - if this was enough for her to end a relationship, which she can do for any reason, then unfortunately you have to accept that.

Yeah trying to say that "my dear" is equivalent to "Dear Bob" is really not gonna fly.

I do think it's acceptable to say "my dear" to a friend, even an ex, if that's the way you'd normally speak - but as a PP said, if your GF has decided that doesn't work for her, then that's that I guess.

You must think we're stupid. "My dear" is not the same as "Dear Jane" and you know it.

Would you reply to any other client saying ‘my dear’ or just an ex?

hi everyone.
thank you for your msgs.
to add a few notes, i do say 'hi my Dear' or even 'hi my Love' to other clients i have a good work-relationship with as well. i have done this forever, without any meaning. (maybe i need to add that im European lol)
i do however understand my GFs reaction and get it that she is mad. but is a word (which i told her doesnt mean anything to me), can break up a strong relationship?
we have been together for 2 years and it was perfect since day one. no fights, no arguments, we make each other happy every day, i show her how much she means to me and love her, she does the same. it was perfect. we do not live together. i just came back from a short trip to run a Marathon (yes, i did wanted her to come with me but she decided against it), and when i came back it was like we were apart for years. we were both so happy to see each other again and we both missed each other a lot. and a week later she broke up because of a word. as i said, i do understand that she is mad and i know it was wrong.

im not going to show her this thread. just trying to get some comments to see what others are thinking and maybe to find out if im really such a bad person when (in my opinion) simply trying to have a nice and polite work-relationship. thank you

Ok that context helps.

Could she maybe just need some time to calm down so you can speak properly?

@YoSofi i hope its the case that she needs some time to clam down.

the whole thing happened last week Friday.
after the incident she then sent me some, lets say not so nice msgs and i could tell how mad she was.
i didnt really say anything besides that it doesnt mean anything and that i havent seen my ex in person for 3+ years. its only business related. but she didnt want to hear any of that.
however, later that day and the day after she actually sent msgs saying she was sorry the way she reacted.
however, ever since she doesnt really talk anymore and at one point she said 'lets take a break now' (which i think usually means its over).
i tried to talk to her yesterday but could tell on how upset/mad/hurt she was and she didnt wanna really talk to me.

I think - unless your gf is immature and prone to extreme and irrational jealousy/overreaction over slightest issues - something else is going on.

It is possible she isn’t as happy in the relationship and used this as an excuse to move on. Or - has she always been secretly insecure about your Ex? Does she maybe think you aren’t over her - or is Ex is somehow superior to you gf, in her mind (prettier, thinner, etc)
Has your ongoing friendliness with Ex been an issue?

Also - does she always ask you about your texting - who and what? Is she just very jealous of all women?
I do think this probably mean that she wasn’t as comfortable/secure in the relationship and decided her worst fears have been proven wrong.

Personally - I’d think I dodged a bullet. Being with someone so irrational would be a nightmare over the years.

@MMmomDD well, she is a jealous person. but i never saw this as a problem since i have nothing to hide.
eg when i use Whatsapp and she sees that im online, she asks me 'with whom are you texting?'.
she definitely does not like the idea that i have an ex GF which im still communicating and okay with (and i have to communicate with her since she works for one of our clients). but i havent seen her for years and my Gf knows that.

i just dont understand it since we were always happy until that day i made a "silly" mistake.

You were not always ‘happy’. She has clearly been on guard all this time - as it’s not normal to continuously monitor your Bf’s messaging and querying it.
Not unless you have given her reasons to be suspicious.

Trust me - people like that only get worse with time. And no amount of reassurance on your side would make her easier to be with.

Thank you @MMmomDD
will see what happens

feels good to be able to at least talk to someone about this :)