I’m stuck with him but I need to leave

[Charlieiscool]

I bought a small ex-council house with my DP and we have 2 DCs age 12 and 3. I have to leave him because I am so horribly miserable every single day, I just can’t go on. He isn’t violent but is nasty to me all the time. I work as a cleaner 10 hours a week. He won’t move out and doesn’t want me to leave. I don’t know where or how to leave, I’m stuck with him. A lawyer wants £430 for one hour of advice which is impossible for me. I’m seeing a counsellor which helps. I don’t have the resources, my family are in Eastern Europe. I’d like to stay in the house with the DCs and I think I could cover the mortgage but how can I do this, how can I get free of this man and have a happy and peaceful life for me and my DCs?

Some SHLs charge a free half hour or hour. Shop around some more, you might need to go further afield.

You will have to increase your working hours or find another job. Your three year old can fet 30 hours of free childcare a week. Your 12 year old can do after school clubs (though my one was coming home and letting herself in at that age).

If you are both on the deeds of the house you'll need to come to some kind of agreement.

*get

If you bought with him he owns half the house. You will have to buy him out or sell and use the equity to buy elsewhere or rent.

Buying him out is either possible or impossible. See a mortgage broker to see if it is possible.

The only other option is use the Childrens Act provisions to request a court order deferring the sale until the children are older. This applies even if you are not married.

I live in an expensive area (but not London). I thought my solicitor was expensive (£260/hr) so £430 sounds too much.

I spoke to two solicitors first, one for 20 mins or so and the other for 40 mins free of charge. I liked the second one more and have gone with her.

There are many websites that give a lot of information (sorry I’ve forgotten the names). Read up on them thoroughly, then you can save money as you don’t need to waste any time asking the solicitor the easy questions. Emailing your questions after the initial consultation can also keep costs down.