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Original poster

Am I being paranoid?

9 replies

Catty28 · 12/10/2022 21:54

My boyfriend has been really off and quiet with me lately. We have two children together. He is the main bread winner as I am a stay at home mum. I have been thinking if he is cheating on me with someone from work or a dating site, he is always on his phone and has a password on it. I am 30 next month and he has just bought me a Barbour coat would he do this if he didn't want to be with me anymore or having an affair. Feeling emotional at the moment as on my period as well just wanted someone to ease my mind really.

OP posts:
serenaisaknobhead · 12/10/2022 21:55

Are you able to talk to him about how you're feeling?

saltofcelery · 12/10/2022 21:57

Could he not just be stressed? I go quiet when I'm stressed out.

Password on phone, we have those although we know each others. I've never looked, never wanted to.

I think the Barbour is here nor there if you're the mother of his children.

I suppose the thing is, if he's normally a certain way, now he's the opposite and it's going on for a while, ask him if he's ok?

GreyCarpet · 13/10/2022 06:58

Ask him.

Not if he's having an affair. Just tell him you've noticed he's been quiet recently and ask if there's anything on his mind.

Open up a dialogue.

Dery · 13/10/2022 22:30

Another here who thinks you should ask him in general terms what’s wrong.

Also - it’s not what you asked - but if you are in England, please be aware that you would have no legal right to maintenance for yourself if you and he were to split. So you’re in a very vulnerable position financially as an SAHM.

Dery · 13/10/2022 22:31

Sorry - to clarify - you would have no legal right because you’re not married.

MMmomDD · 13/10/2022 23:11

Instead of wondering about the jacket - I’d be wondering how to protect your future.
You do realise that as part of unmarried couple, who isn’t working, you are in an extremely vulnerable position.
(Unless you have a well off family, then it doesn’t matter.)

As it is - you sacrificed your career/money making potential; and have no protection.
If something goes wrong - you’ll have no claim on any assets he has earned while you raised his children, kept him fed; and his house tidy.

So - don’t worry about the jacket, or his phone. I’d be getting onto mine and looking for a job, and my own place.
Any man who is willing to have kids with you but doesn’t want to marry you - doesn’t really deserve to have benefits of a family.
It is really that simple.

Watchkeys · 14/10/2022 11:14

I am 30 next month and he has just bought me a Barbour coat would he do this if he didn't want to be with me anymore or having an affair

We're not going to know any better than you. If you feel like he's having an affair, ask him. If you can't trust his answer or it's not the answer you want, you know what to do.

KangarooKenny · 14/10/2022 11:16

It sounds like you are very vulnerable financially, being unmarried and a SAHM. Do you have any plans to go back to work ?

girlmom21 · 14/10/2022 11:21

A branded coat isn't going to tell you whether or not he's cheating.

Speak to him about how you're feeling.

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