How did you get your teen boy back on the rails?

[UserOneSquillion]

DS (14) has really gone off the rails. He’s been vaping, smoking weed and getting in a lot of trouble at school. Thankfully the school are very supportive. And he’s getting counselling and has a support worker with varying success. He seems depressed and seems to hated everyone who’s trying to support him.

His father left 5 years ago (although we departed 8 years ago) and now has a young family. He doesn’t see a lot of DS which has been incredibly hard for him. We are NC and he has not been supportive in helping DS with his issues.

I don’t want to give too much information as quite outing but if you’ve had a teen boy in a similar rut what finally helped? Thank you

Has he ever had interest in sport?
if you can get him to a rugby club he will find an outlet for his frustrations and also possibly a father figure / role model with the coaches.
my son was having issues , more to do with bullying, and he absolutely loved the rugby coaches and they took him under their wing.
He loved playing and still does and let’s just say the bullies left him alone once he suddenly had the school rugby team as his best mates!

I agree with a sports team (climbing, football, martial arts?). Also consider cadets-'excellent for their self esteem.

My son was going through hell this year… we took him to the doctor (filled them in and then left the room so they could talk privately about substances)
we got him a gym membership
6 sessions with a youth counsellir
reengaged with his very cool guitar teacher, who has been such an incredible mentor as well as a teacher
chatted to school to keep an eye on him

tge hard work is paying off, and I’m seeing the wonderful kid he is again

good luck