Partner quick to react

[Totalcrash]

Hello, I’m realising I’m anxious around partner. I thought it was because he’s fed up with me for not currently working, but I just realised it may be most of the time. I often feel he’s disappointed in me, but this isn’t based on anything, just my feelings of failure.
the school called him today and he’s rushed home all anxious about the teen. which is contagious. He was irritated because he had to call my phone ( under the car seat) and when I checked it was to do with refunding something. He immediately got cross beacause I didn’t remember I’d put a deposit down a while ago. Fair enough I suppose.
he is a very anxious person.
its dawned on me that each day I’m miserable and the next day I’m miserable and I don’t know how to get out of this habit. Surely I shouldn’t be this miserable all the time?
just started sertraline, I hope that helps.

How do you get out of being miserable - change your circumstances.

if his reactions to any situations are making you fee shit then leave.

we have one life, why spend it being made to feel the way you are.

I'm sorry OP, I can't quite follow the examples in your post. What I can say is that, whilst most of us feel like a failure sometimes, it really shouldn't be a permanent situation.
Perhaps you ought to have a think about what you expect of yourself and whether it is reasonable. Are you making yourself an easy target for a frustrated DH by being Uber self critical or is he just behaving like a dick? Take some time to get your thoughts straight and then make a plan to act. Whether that will be accepting that we all have limitations and making peace with yours or deciding that you are doing your best and your DH needs sort his attitude out is up to you.

Thanks. You’re right of course. Think I’m just lost and overwhelmed.

Please don't take medication to cope with your partner.

Yes, probably not the best idea.
I’ll look at whether I’m being a dick I probably am. Thanks deadbeat.

Surely I shouldn’t be this miserable all the time

According to what set of rules? There's nothing set in stone that says how happy or sad we should be. It's not that you 'should' be happier, so why aren't you? It's that you're not doing things that make you happy, so you're not happy, and if you do more things that make you happy and less things that make you sad, you'll be more happy and less sad.

In short, there's no external body to dictate your mood. It's your responsibility, and if you think you 'should' be happier than you are, then it's up to you to change things until you are.

Thanks. I just seem to keep trying and trying and getting nowhere.

What is it you're trying to do?

Get a life! We’ve had a rough time, and I’ve found it’s left me exhausted and anxious. I’m looking for work, which is utterly depressing and making me feel stupid and useless. I’m embarrassed to call friends apart from one or two as I’m just getting nowhere. For years Dh was controlling, he may still be I don’t know, but I think we are both just really really knackered. Teens kids rebelling doesn’t help. No family to help. Just us. Dh exhausted with job. Obviously money worries. Feel like I’ve been trying for years to look after kids and Dh through massive challenges, and now I’m done. There must be a ray of light somewhere!

Thanks watchkeys, I just re read your post…
*It's that you're not doing things that make you happy, so you're not happy, and if you do more things that make you happy and less things that make you sad, you'll be more happy and less sad.

In short, there's no external body to dictate your mood. It's your responsibility, and if you think you 'should' be happier than you are, then it's up to you to change things until you are.*

I’ll stop being so self indulgent.
it’s just every day is the same- procrastinate on cleaning, look for job, feel useless, get down, cook dinner etc. I need to change my routine somehow. How? No idea.
maybe it’s because I’m alone all day or Dh is wfh. So there’s nothing to energise or look forward to. Just more looking at all the crap, and the end,ess chaos and muck, and combing Indeed job site hoping something I can do will appear.
Today I’ll get a black bag and throw all the crap I’m clinging onto thinking it will make me happy.
I’ll fit in something I enjoy too. I tend to not let myself go on a walk/ do a hobby as I don’t deserve it/ don’t have time/ feel guilty as Dh is working so hard. Obviously that train of thought doesn’t help.
I’ll also clean the house again. Groundhog Day.
sorry, just been trying to be positive for so long and I’m so tired of feeling miserable