Solicitor letter

[EmmaMarie18]

Long story short my now ex left over 2 weeks ago after I was told he'd slept with someone he works with

Naturally I was angry and upset and told him what I thought of him! Despite this I have still facilitated contact with our son

This morning I received a letter from his solicitor and I'm livid! Basically saying my behaviour towards him is unacceptable and I need to take a step back and appreciate the relationship is over (doubt he told the solicitor it was because he couldn't keep his c*%k in his pants)

Then that child contact has proven difficult which to me it hasn't he's had our son every weekend since and in the week so that has baffled me!

Then to kick me while I'm down he wants the money he paid towards the deposit for our house then the remainder of the equity split 50/50! We both put money towards the deposit for our house which is now on the market and neither of us had any contracts drawn up to state that if we sold we had our deposits back first then the equity was split so it's joint!

I'm absolutely fuming and got a solicitor appointment Monday! I honestly think he believes I will just cave in to what he wants

I just know he will cause problems for me with my job too that's how he is

I'm just so frustrated..he's cheated on me and still wants his pound of flesh

Has anyone else gone through this? Can the courts honestly honour what he wants when it's a joint mortgage

I’ve been through similar! Are you married? If so you are entitled to 50% of his assets, regardless of who contributed what deposit. This is a cheeky play that solicitors make when representing clients but you don’t have to agree to it, legally. If you’re not married it’s a bit trickier. Best advice is to get a solicitor of your own, especially as he’s being so aggressive with it!

The crap about contact and behaviour is his vanity speaking. He can a solicitor to say anything in a letter and pay them to do it. A decent solicitor won't!
If there's no contract & nothing in writing about the deposit/house, then he's chancing his arm. Tough shit.
By all means see a solictor, but he sounds like he's bluffing to see what he can get from you

We're not married (thank god) I honestly think he just thinks I'll give in to what he wants but he's got another thing coming

We sat with a financial advisor when we bought our house who asked if he wanted clauses drawn up in the event we sell he has his money back to which he said no! I've spoken to the financial advisor today and he's willing to put pen to paper to clarify that

He's clutching at straws I know but just feel so shit considering he's already hurt me in the worst way ever and now this

I've written down all the contact he's had since he's left which is a lot and I've never stopped it

My appointment with my solicitor can't come quick enough

I've also learnt that when I lived with him in his old house for a year before we moved here I was giving him enough money every month that covered all his main bills and over

I've been told I can claim a percentage of the sale of the old house as I can prove I contributed to the up keep

I've also found his hand written notes of his outgoings at that time to prove I was paying and covering his essential bills..sly twat!

Sounds like you’ve got enough evidence to get him to back off and get your fair share. Good luck OP!!

Can the courts honestly honour what he wants when it is a joint mortgage

A mortgage is not the house! A mortgage is a big loan, like a car loan, expect it is secured on a house.

Your deposits are a separate matter, what do your house deeds say, is it tenants in common or joint tenancy? If it is tenants in common then your individual deposits may have been recognised in which case yes he can get his deposit back very easily as you are not married. But of course so can you as you say you put a deposit down too, did you put down equal deposits?

Personally I would not take too much notice of the solicitors letter with regard to leaving him alone, if he wants to waste his money sending silly letters then let him.

As you’re not married the only important thing is the nature of the house owenership ( not the mortgage)

if you are joint tenants you are entitled to 50:50. That’s it

if you own as tenants in common with unequal shares it’s whatever they % is. If no deed of trust was drawn up stating unequal shares it’s 50:50
if the deposit was not ringfenced in a deed then legally he’s not due it as consideration ( morally is another matter especially if large £)

don’t get drawn into battles

egsts the plan for child arrangements? He might be a crap partner but he’s still your child’s dad

Remember his solicitor is acting on his bank rolling client's best interests and based solely on his side / version of events. Time to fight fire with fire.

This.
Keep calm, get your own solicitor.

Get advice from your solicitor but don't yet use your solicitor to engage with his solicitor.

Write your own responses to save your money for when you need the solicitor to officially take you on as a client e.g. when he refuses to do 50/50 with the house, when he goes for child arrangements.

Instead for now write every single response to his solicitor yourself. His solicitor will charge him for every letter/email that his solicitor reads on his behalf. So if you want to write separate letters for each subject e.g. housing, child arrangements then you wouldn't be unreasonable. (If he's an unpleasant client the solicitor will charge the full whack.)

He is likely to make the mistake of not realising you are using a solicitor to advise you, so will get his solicitor to write lots of threatening letters. Any about your child can be used in child arrangements if he pushes it to that.

Make sure you don't open any solicitor responses after Friday afternoon or on the weekend. Only answer the letters on week days to help safeguard your mental well-being. So set up folders that his emails and the solicitors automatically are filtered into.

The mortgage/house is in joint names 50/50

When we bought the house he was asked by our financial advisor if the wanted a contract drawn up stating that if we sold the property he would have his deposit back first and he said no 🙈 the financial advisor is happy to provide a statement covering this if needs be

I've kept a written log of all the contact he's had with our son since he's left and it's been a lot I haven't been awkward at all think tha would just add more stress

He's 100% a shit partner and not really the best dad considering he wanted me to terminate our son at 23+ weeks and because I wouldn't he wanted to put him up for adoption 🤬 but now he's left he's the amazing father he wants people to think he is...so frustrating!

He's a control freak, narcissistic t*%t

Feel a lot more positive today and know he's done me a favour

I'm a bit confused. Why shouldn't he have his deposit back and half of the rest?

And you get your deposit back of course

Who contributed more to the deposit? It reads as though he did, in which case you should be happy with 50/50?

I've put a lot of money into our house too which he hasn't even mentioned

I lived with him for a year moved into his house where I was given him money towards bills I've since found out what I was giving him covered his mortgage council tax gas water and electric he's always taken the piss out of me when it came to money

In 5 years he never did a good shop, never paid for anything to decorate the house all left to me, the last few Christmas' have been left to me to sort including Christmas for his son from a previous, paying his car payment so I think he's more than had his deposit back lol

He's a very sly calculated low life

*food shop even lol