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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP seems to be preparing for a future without me

4 replies

Charlavail · 10/10/2022 18:35

We have been together for 10 years have 2 DC and own a "forever" home together. Been engaged for 10 years. However for years DP has given me reasons we couldn't get married. DD keeps asking if we will get married so I spoke to DP about it. He said we couldn't afford it (we could afford a small do) I said let's just get married at the registry office. To which he replied what would be the point in that. I then suggested we had a time frame in mind such as five years to which he replied that he didn't know what our financial situation would be then (he has doubled his salary in 4 years and gets bonuses and my wages go up a percentage every year). At no point did he say he wanted to marry me (Obviously he doesn't) or that he wants to be with me.

A few days later I did bring it up and said the fact that he didn't say he wanted to be with me hurt my feelings. He said sorry but still didn't say he wanted to be with me.
Some other things have made me question if he is thinking of leaving. He's cancelled his vasectomy despite us agreeing on only 2 DC. I counted he's gone 4 weeks without giving me a compliment. I jokingly said because you love me and he said no 😯. I had always naively assumed we were in it for the long run. We get on well but a bit lacking on romance since our new baby.

OP posts:
Whadda · 10/10/2022 18:37

It does indeed sound like he has one foot out the door.

What’s your housing situation?

Do you have savings that only you can access?

ChocolateSpreadOnToast · 10/10/2022 18:41

Do you both own the house, are you on the deeds? It does sound like he’s checking out, sorry. How financially secure are you?

JestersTear · 10/10/2022 18:46

It does rather sound as though a proper conversation needs to be had.
Has he always been a bit reluctant to offer you reassurances?

Charlavail · 11/10/2022 14:46

Both own the house and both on the deeds.

OP posts:
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