Should I stay or leave? Advice please

[Cookie1278]

So this is really difficult for me to write as it’s breaking my heart I feel this way.

Background- I’ve been with my partner since 16/17 years old, I’m 25 this year. I’ve been with him and one other previously intimately.

We live together, we have a dog, share a car. He is my childhood sweetheart and I love him and I’d do anything for him. We’ve had ups and downs but he has been there for me through my darkest times and does everything for me. He loves me so much and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I’m so lucky to have him.

I just think I’m falling out of love with him.

For the last year at least I have been considering going to the doctor due to having no sex drive at all when it comes to my partner. I feel weird when he kisses me, I hate having sex with him :( I know I still have a sex drive though as when I’m alone I want sex and I imagine it all the time. I feel stuck in my relationship. We have completely grown up together but I feel like I don’t know who I am. I’ve always had him. I don’t do anything on my own, I’m so dependent on him. I am not happy.

I don’t really know what I’m trying to say here, just basically do you guys think I’d be stupid to throw away someone who is so good to me? I feel he deserves someone way more than me, someone who does want to rip his clothes off. (I know relationships aren’t all about sex, but I feel at 25 I’ve had no sex drive for nearly 2 years).

Also, this is no reason to stay but I’d have no where to live if i left. I feel I have no options. :(

OP, I’m sorry you feel this way. Do you see him more as a best friend now? I’ve been with my DH since I was 15 and I’m now 40. He’s been my only one. I love him but, as you say, sex drive is minimal for me with him (he’s gorgeous and kind etc) but when I see other men I do think of sex. We are just like a pair of comfy shoes - we know what the other is thinking / he is my other half but the passion of younger days has dwindled over the years. And that’s not a bad thing - sex is great but true love, feeling comfortable with each other and at peace together, is far more precious and valuable.

It’s a tough question only you can answer. The grass isn’t always greener but, at 25, you don’t want to love with regrets of a life half lived.

Have you spoken to him about it?

My only advice is not to rush into a decision. Listen to both your head and heart.

I 100% agree with the PP, to be honest, I can’t see if I was with anyone else that i would still want to rip their clothes off after being together more than a few years 😂 definitely becomes more like a best friend relationship. You would be taking the risk of leaving him and ending up in this same situation another 8/9years down the line