This is my first post. I'm not sure if I'm writing to just get things off my chest or for advice? All I know is that I'm curled up in a corner; a shadow of my former self. I'm really private so it's taken a huge deep breath to write this. It's a proper "metoo" issue. Please don't judge me harshly...
Going back about 3y a very wealthy long-term (publicly-known) friend offered to help me with a legal situation. I didn't ask - he offered. He agreed to fund all my legal costs, whatever the cost and with no need to reimburse. He knew my circumstances. I'd been made homeless and was unable to work due to the overwhelming amount of legal issues. (My one salvation has been a rent-free flat all this time - even though it's condition means it should be uninhabitable).
The friend started to fund the legal costs. I can't divulge the cases as they are ongoing. I needed 2 law firms - one my choice and affordable; his choice was expensive. But when I got to a perfect moment to "close" and needed a last push with lawyers - he kind of distanced himself for a number of weeks.
Then he changed his terms. He would only support me if I agreed to "compromise my integrity". I realized I'd been set up; manipulated into a dependency situation. Legally I couldn't stop the processes. I'm single (widowed with kids) and capable of weighing up my options, however unpalatable. But I had never ever encountered such a proposal predicament before. I cringe with embarrassment as I write this, but there was a brief period of very reluctant acquiescence. Each time distasteful, toe-curlingly awkward and awful experiences. Thankfully as brief as it takes to hard-boil an egg.
But I should have known better. His disappearance/ delay had adversely affected the legal situation; deadlines were missed and the case was protracted. Which meant more legal costs and an extended period under his "coercive control". He knew this would happen. It was deliberate. Its hard to understand when you are in the middle of it, but in hindsight it's clear that his sole intention was to make me completely financially dependent on him. Trading off my traumatized state and vulnerability.
He offered me a 'salary' - until the legal situation was resolved - as long as I "met" him regularly... Then his lawyer presented a draft contract. It was clear he was simply trying to gain control of the legal situation so he could really big-time profit. I didn't agree to either. I just couldn't stomach being physically, mentally and financially manipulated any longer. Bizarrely for a man in his position he's admitted to all this in writing. Including admitting he's a bully and bullying me on purpose. Some friend...
I managed to get through this year using my own investment funds (plundered pension). But I still can't really see a 'soon' end in sight; I need more funds and have exhausted my resources. I just want to get off the legal bus, so to speak. Maybe I'm eligible for free legal support? Again in hindsight, I should have used my funds at the beginning and maybe got earlier closure and saved destroying my soul and spirit.
I don't want to go back to the 'friend' who is still offering £s "with conditions". That yuk thought makes me retch. He's already proved he doesn't commit when required/ moves the goalposts. I don't know how - but somehow I will find a resolution on how to move forward.
It's just there's a thought lingering in my head: should I/ could I report what he's done/ doing? Is it a legal offence?
Or is it just life? And I should just box it up mentally and push to the far corners of my mind as a very very bad personal experience to be forgotten as best as possible...??