I need to stop drinking for good, help

[Hungoverandashamed]

I'm in my 40's. If I'm honest alcohol has always caused me problems to some degree. I have managed to surround myself with people who are worse so it's not so noticeable.

I am appalled with myself.

Last night I drank to excess and can't remember the end of the night. It was sort of fun but also not fun. We were out for dinner in a foursome, everyone was very very drunk. The other woman was being really argumentative and annoying. She was being bossy, I asked her to stop as did her husband then she burst into tears and threw a full tottler tantrum.

Nights out often go like this with them and our other mutual friends. I don't know if we are really friends or if we are just co-dependent addicts. Years ago we all took lots and lots of drugs. I stopped, the rest of them didn't. I really hate how I lapse back into periods when I have no control with my drinking.

When we woke up this morning my DH shrugged me away then turned to me and said "you are disgusting when you drink." He asked me if I remembered what I said to him and how I behaved when I got home. I don't but I have flashes of being in bed and fighting with him.

I digested it for a while then for the first time ever I decided that I am finished with alcohol. I apologized and told him this and asked him for his support. He said if that's what I want.

Does anyone have any motivating stories for me? I never ever want to be here again.

Well done, OP!

My now DH and I cut back hard on alcohol soon after we got together because a few lovely nights out were ruined as we got more drunk and ended up having stupid arguments.

As a habit, it took a bit of practice at the time but it’s stayed with us now for 20+ years. We don’t drink at home at all and drink moderately when we go out (think - a few beers or a shared bottle of wine). As you say - it just feels much better.

Well done OP, that’s an amazing update! You can feel your happy energy.

Im two years sober having found the freedom threads on this board and walked the early months together with some other folk who were starting out. The support was invaluable.

I still use the I Am Sober app to keep track of how many days sober I am (776 days!) from time to time.

I do still get cravings when with friends or in a nice restaurant but I don’t miss the anxiety or the lack of sleep or the self-loathing the next day. I know I look younger for it and my kids are getting the best of me.

It has become automatic now, my friends have all accepted that I no longer drink so they don’t expect me to and that keeps me on track. I’ve done weddings, nights out, holidays and work travel sober and found them all to be better and more enjoyable.

Keep going OP, alcohol does nothing for your physical or mental health and learning to find healthier ways to relax and unwind will do you the world of good. Good luck and enjoy your holiday!

xxx