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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it best I stop talking to her?

4 replies

Feeloverit · 09/10/2022 16:04

I became friends with someone who a friend to someone I grew up with but we no longer talk
This friend seems a nice person doesn't actually see the friend I grew up with person. They talk via phone or message each other
The friend I grew up with doesn't know how close I got to her friend. I been out to a birthday dinner but never felt comfortable hiding this. This friend would tell me what's going on with the friend I grew up with. Stuff she even been saying about me it has got me annoyed.
I cut of this childhood friend lots ot reasons why. But yesterday something just clicked in my head that I just need to distance myself from this friend. I can't handle being told stuff that I really don't care about now. I feel like I don't know if I can trust her tbh.
She tell me stuff and this childhood friend has no idea.
Would you cut the friendship or just tell this person you don't want to hear anything about your childhood friend?
I hated hiding being friends with my childhood friend friend. It's like really stupid but I know why she done it.
I feel like just distancing myself from her.

OP posts:
HighlandPony · 09/10/2022 17:12

Probably. I nailed colours to the “never say anything behind someone’s back you wouldn’t say to their face” cross, even as a young kid and though at times that makes ti a total cunt to deal with, everyone knows where they stand with me. Just be straight. Tell her I don’t want to hear it

Tsort · 09/10/2022 17:37

Just ask her to stop?

EndlessMagpies · 09/10/2022 17:41

All that is happening is that your current friend talks to you about someone you used to be friends with. That's it. Just seem slightly disinterested every time the ex-friend is mentioned, and the current friend will soon stop talking about them. Either that, or ask them why they keep mentioning the ex-friend, because you don't want to know about it.

The only thing I'd be wary of is whether the new friend is gossiping to the ex-friend about you.

Feeloverit · 09/10/2022 18:22

The friend I have grown up with had some bad issues probably why I got close to other friends of hers.

It's because my friend has constant drama and this friend just says it all. We are no longer talking again.
Well she tries not too at times but you know she wants to tell you what's going on.

The friend I grew up with got serious issues and kept me in the dark. So if when we starting talking she makes out everything fine and this this other friend says no this is going on and that. What can I do absolutely nothing if she still keeping me in the dark.

But anyway the friend I grew up with I cut off but made a really good friend through her but that person cut her off completely she had enough of the drama. Its her who introduced me to this one who just the link who coming back to us telling us everything.
My childhood friend a loss cause and this friend has concerns sometimes of her situation. I honestly don't care just want my peace from people who connect from ex friend..
Thanks for advice

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