Confused and Lonely

[Cupcake3322]

Hi All, I’ve never made a thread on here before but I feel so lonely and confused, and feel like maybe I’m doing something wrong.
My husband has always done very little in regards to helping me around the house, but this has stretched now to me doing all housework, gardening and DIY. I am really fed up and often tell my husband about this. Today I was doing a DIY project whilst my husband watched on and played the Xbox. I did moan, and said you could have helped, or at least cleared up. His response was if you’re not happy then don’t be with me, he swore at me, told me the house had always looked rubbish since we moved in, and went upstairs.
I don’t really know why I’m writing this, but then I question whether I’m doing something wrong and then am made to feel guilty about moaning. Feeling very alone right now 💔

The only thing you’re doing wrong is giving the time of day to your dickhead of a husband.

He sounds horrible, to be honest. Why are you with him? Do you have children? How long have you been together?

He’s come downstairs and is just pretending nothing has happened now, not even said sorry or mentioned it. I try so hard to make things look nice on a budget in the house, and love the house despite it not being perfect.
We’ve been together 6 years, no children.

He sounds absolutely vile. Have you thought about why you’re still with him?

Why indeed are you with this man child?.

How can you be helped here into leaving this man child who verbally abuses and otherwise criticises you to boot?.

Did your dad treat your mum like this?

This is not all you actually deserve from a relationship, not at all.

OP, hope you will come back and share some thoughts....what is stopping you leaving this man? You sound unhappy and defeated. You're describing a pattern of behaviour that has left you demoralised and blaming yourself. It can't be good.

Just leave? He sounds horrible. Do you want a family?

His response was if you’re not happy then don’t be with me

Tell him you've had a little think about this, and you've decided it's a good plan. Then leave. It really is that simple. I know it's not easy, but it's not complicated.

What stops you leaving?

I think you should call his bluff on the “if you are not happy then don’t be with me”. You also should change your thinking for the future, the housework isn’t your burden, he should be doing his fair share not “helping” you.

Stop trying to make a nice home for him. You are basically his unpaid cleaner, he clearly doesn't care enough to help you or spend any time with you.

Wouldn't you be happier on your own? What is the point of being with someone who makes you feel lonely. Don't have children with him. Get rid of him and find someone lovely instead. Good luck x

You sound very motivated, capable and independent. You have no children together. He is mean to you and childish. He is also lazy and a big man child. You dream of a different life and have aspirations for your living environment. Why are you with idiot? You have so many options.