How do you manage long distance family relationships?

[Runaround50]

Myself, partner and teens live a good 3 hours from my parents. It was my decision to move away.

At first. we agreed that we would try and see each other twice a month ( we would come to them and they to us) That didn't work and we have always travelled to see them.

Fast forward 10 years plus and It's getting difficult to maintain the relationship. I work term time, so only have the school holidays to see them.

Sometimes planned dates to visit haven't worked out ( ill health etc)

Menopause has kicked in ( me) and I'm often exhausted from lack of sleep ( even though on HRT) teen daughter has a part time job/ goes to college and my parents now have some health issues.

It's been six months since I last saw them.

In hindsight it probably wasn't the best decision to move away. I didn't think through the longer term implications.

How do manage long distance relationships with your family/ parents?

At three hours away, we probably saw them once or twice a year. We’d have a visit down every year and they could come up if they wanted.

But why can’t they come to you ever?

My daughter lives 400 miles away. She stayed in the university city she went to at 18 and is now 28. It's hard yes but she's got her life there now so I have to accept it. We speak every day and see each other as often as possible

@SheWoreYellow they don't like travelling and they don't like the part of the country we are in.

One of my older children ( age 22) lives in a different country where he works, so only see him twice s year. Another lives 25 miles away, and another is at uni about 100 miles away.
We communicate about 3 or 4 times a week via messenger, or video call

Well don’t feel bad that you don’t see that much of them then ☺️

We live 3.5 hours away from DH's parents and sister.

We usually see them each school holiday/half term - they either come to us Thurs to Sunday, or we go down to them Fri to Sunday. Occasionally we will go down for the odd weekend in between.

It is getting harder as the DC get older and have their own plans at weekends. I find that PIL are coming to see us more, as it means they get to see their DGC, but DC can also get on with doing stuff with friends etc. PIL are getting older though so this will need to change as they become less able to drive.

We do a video chat every Sunday and have messenger groups etc for day to day stuff.

If the onus was on us to travel to them every time, we would see them a lot less than we do.

Ive always lived a distance from my mum as after uni I moved for a job. It varies but we see each other every 2 months or so and I find having a full weekend together makes up for not seeing each other every week for an hour or two. We also speak on the phone and I send photos of the kids. I try to prioritise going in school holidays to have a long weekend and she comes here the other times/

Not sure as my family are very similar. Everyone should make an effort but l know it’s easier said than done. I’m taking a major step back as of now instead of doing the running around; lm pregnant with twins and not feeling well. It’s unlikely l will be driving for hours or sitting down for hours, especially as l need the toilet so often. It’s probably not going to go down well but there you go

My mum has always been a bit lazy and avoidant so it’s not an age thing. E.g. she suggested l take by brother to university at the start of the year which was a few hundred miles away. I declined! I didn’t even drive at the time, l think she hoped / assumed my then boyfriend would drive

Thanks for sharing all.
I suppose we just have to try and make it work. I'm finding communication is very sparse, even for day to day stuff and I don't know why. It makes things very tricky and a bit sad really.

I'm hoping we can visit at half term, but who knows. Health issues are taking their toll now and that's another obstacle to get over.