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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I’m screwed !

3 replies

Milotree · 09/10/2022 09:21

Back story. I have one dc from a previous relationship. I was financially ok. We got by. Met dp .Moved in with him 2 years ago after being together for 1.5 years. I stupidly gave up my house. Had child with dp. Dp stands for dickhead partner . Dp refused point blank to put my name on the house when I asked for a some of security. His reasoning ‘we will be married one day’ . So instead of paying towards the mortgage I have contributed to the household by paying for oil, electric, the groceries, all child related things. I decorated and furnished the house as it was pretty much a bachelor pad, cold and not very homely when we moved in. This wiped out my savings. Every single argument dp and I have ever had has resulted in him using the house against me. Tells me to get out of his house. When it’s got bad it’s me who has had to leave with the children. I stay at my aunts house who lives nearby. It’s all came to a head. Dp has said he wants me out of his house. He has told me to put all my things in storage until i find somewhere as he wants to buy new furniture and kit the house out. I work. Minimum wage. I rely on dp for childcare. He is self employed works 3-4 days a week. I can’t go through the proper channels for child support as his brother is an accountant and together they fiddle. He has said he will help me get a house pay the deposit and a months rent. I suspect another women but that’s the least of my worries . Our relationship has not been great lately but I feel like I’m just being discarded like a dirty nappy and starting all over again. I will be worse off than I was before he came along and this makes me feel very bitter . He has also announced that when we move out he will be having our dc 3 over night stays a week. I do not want to be away from my child for 3 nights. I have concerns about this also as he likes a drink and on occasion Iv had to ring in sick to work because he has not been fit to look after our child. I guess my post is just for some advice or has anyone ever been in a similar situ?

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 09/10/2022 10:23

I'm really sorry OP! Terrible situation.

Are you able to stay with your aunt whilst you get things sorted?

I'm a lone parent, I know how daunting it looks but you can do this.

Milotree · 09/10/2022 11:47

@jeaux90 i can but it will be very uncomfortable as it is a cramped house as it is . I’m hurt by his lack of consideration or care. My heads all over the place.

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 09/10/2022 12:14

Yes their indifference towards you and your DC well being can be absolutely baffling.

But you need to get proactive and practical.

If he is offering to pay the deposit and a months rent can you afford to sustain the rent on what you earn and any UC?

Can you agree a decent co-parenting routine which helps with your work hours?

Do you have close friends and family in your support network? If so tell them what's going on, get some advice and support.

Lastly, again, you can do this.

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